Thursday, August 28, 2008

jesus loves me

Mike and Max were in the car this morning, coming back from the pet store. Max started singing "Jesus loves me" over and over again. Then Mike asked a question, which led to the following conversation:

Mike: Max, who is Jesus?
Max: You are Jesus, Daddy.
Mike: No, I'm not Jesus.
Max: Mommy is Jesus.
Mike: No, Mommy isn't Jesus either.
Max: Liam is Jesus.
Mike: Liam definitely isn't Jesus.
Max: Papaw is Jesus.
Mike: No, Papaw's not Jesus either.
Max: Yami is Jesus.
Mike: No, Max, Yami is the Antichrist.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

papaw invents a new game for the boys

We call it "Battering Ram." The boys got to take turns being the ram, and hysterical laughter ensued.


circus


Well, it wasn't exactly The Greatest Show on Earth, but Sunday afternoon Mike and I took the boys to a traveling circus. The performers were all really talented (especially the elephants!) and the boys were enthralled watching all of the action. At intermission, we went out to the midway, where pony rides, camel rides, elephant rides, and a bouncy castle were on offer. Guess which one the boys chose? After intermission, we went back inside, and the boys got sno-cones. For most of the second half, they couldn't decide where to direct their attention -- to the ring or the tasty ice-and-syrup treats. Mostly, the sno-cones won out.



Afterward, on the way back to the car, we asked the boys what part of the circus they liked the best. Max, who clearly watches too much TV, waited a minute and then said, "Oh yes, I liked that part too!" (At the end of each episode of Dora, she asks what part of the adventure the viewer liked the best, waits for an answer, and then says, "Oh yes, I liked that part too!") Liam, on the other hand, thought about it for a minute, and then replied, "I liked the bouncy castle best." So much for spending our hard-earned cash on the circus. We could have just paid the $2 for the bouncy thing and been done with it. Peanuts!

Monday, August 25, 2008

messy party!

The day the boys had been waiting for finally arrived: on Saturday, we finally had our messy party. I won't bore you with the lengths we went to in order to prepare this diabolically dirty diversion (though plans were extensive). Instead, here's a list of what we did:


Spaghetti Squish: I filled a small kiddie pool with cooked spaghetti for the kids to walk around in to feel the squishy texture. The spaghetti was coated in oil so it wouldn't get stuck in one giant ball, but I may have overestimated the amount a bit. As a result, we had plenty of oiled-up, slippery kids running around. I also may have underestimated what the kids would actually do with the spaghetti. They didn't just step in it, Lucy-and-Ethel-style; they smashed it into their hair, rolled around in it, draped it over their bodies, and flung it at each other.


Oatmeal Bath: Same principle, but this time the kiddie pool was filled with uncooked oatmeal. The kids walked around in it to feel the texture, but also mashed it into their (wet, oily) hair, flung it at each other and up into the air, and generally spread it all around. I'm pretty sure the birds and squirrels are still feasting on the leftovers.


Pudding Painting: I set up a table with a roll of paper draped on it, and bought industrial-size cans of chocolate pudding for finger painting. Fun, but according to some observers (not the kids), the pudding was not up to snuff in terms of taste.


Cookie Decorating: The other table was set up with different types of cookies, and implements of decorating, including frosting, sprinkles, gel for writing, chocolate and butterscotch chips, and candy decorations. Yum!


Balloons: There were plenty of filled balloons on hand for the kids to throw at each other, step on, or otherwise break open. Some were filled with water, some with chocolate pudding (courtesy of the hard prep work of Avalon), and some with Smarties. I think the kids who got the ones with Smarties were happiest -- they weren't expecting candy to burst forth!


Silly String: Janis brought many bottles of silly string, which lasted all of about five minutes in a crazed frenzy. I also contributed a few bottles of whipped cream to add to the fun and confusion.


M&M Hunt: We put M&Ms on a plate, then covered them with whipped cream and had the kids find them without using their hands. It was a really fun game, until a whipped cream fight erupted between two of the older kids, and one of the parents was the recipient of a direct hit -- all over her and her camera. The only casualty of the day.


Cake and Ice Cream: What party would be complete without cake and ice cream? Of course, there was a twist: no plates or serving utensils allowed. The kids just dug in with their bare hands.

Cleanup for the kids was fairly easy: we just filled a big kiddie pool with water, and Janis brought some cool colored gel soap bottles. Then they hosed themselves off in the sprinkler, and they were good to go. [Side note: Trust me, you do not want to mistake gel soap for the gel cookie-decorating writing stuff and lick it off your finger! That was a mistake I hope to never repeat in this life or any other.] Cleaning up the yard wasn't even as hard as we thought it would be. We put tarps under everything to start with, so most of it just got balled up and thrown away. The rest of it was raked up fairly quickly with some help from Dylan and Brady (who were atoning for their whipped-cream-camera mishap and some extreme spaghetti flinging), and Janis and Laura, who were nice enough to stick around to help clean up a little bit. Then it was just a matter of hosing off the tables and chairs and putting everything away. Success!

As for the boys, they were so happy with the way everything turned out that they're already asking me when they can have another messy party. To which I reply, definitely not anytime soon. It was really fun, but a little too labor-intensive and costly to repeat. I consoled them with the hope that maybe next time, one of their friends' parents will want to have a messy party instead. Yes, it's a slim hope, but what else was I going to say?


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

life with boys

Max just informed me that Greta the cat farted. He then went on to tell me the people who didn't fart, namely me, Mike, Liam, and Max (and presumably Dora the cat). "It's ooey, Mommy."

I am totally outnumbered here.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

on the be-cuter

Language is a funny thing (and I should know). For example, during our car ride tonight, Liam told me about a conversation they had at school today, in which the students discussed what their parents do for a living. I'm pretty sure that Liam doesn't know where Mike works (which is okay), but he piped up right away with, "My mom works on the be-cuter!" (For all of you who aren't quite fluent in Liamese, that's "computer.") From his carseat, Max chimed in, "Yeah! On the be-cuter!" like he was daring me to contradict him.

Then we passed the elementary school. The boys had their customary argument (Max: "That's going to be MY school." Liam: "No, Max, it's going to be MY school!" and so on until one of them starts crying) and then Liam told me a story: "Mom, I heard the teachers talking, and they said that school is a free school."

Thinking they might have meant "free" as in "not a costly private school," I asked, "Liam, did they say 'free school' or 'preschool'?"

"I just told you, Mom, it's a freeze school. It is always cold in there! Except that sometimes, in the summer, the sun comes out and warms it up just a little bit. But mostly it's just cold."

Then Max jumped into the conversation. "Look, Mommy, I see the Corn House! Mommy, it's the Corn House! The Corn House!" Not, it wasn't this place. It was this place.

Monday, August 11, 2008

stump fest 2008


The boys and I were eating breakfast Sunday morning when some major equipment moved in--the stump removal crew was here! After months of deliberating how exactly to get rid of the stump in our oasis (which was home to a major ant colony!), I finally made an end run and called a tree service that my dad and grandpa had used. It was a chilly morning, so I got the boys all bundled up and we went outside to ask if we could watch the progress. After getting the go-ahead, we oversaw the proceedings from the safety of the deck. (The wood chunks were a-flying.) The stump grinder was impressive, but the boys were even more excited when they brought out a Bobcat (or "skid steer," according to Liam's truck book) to drive the stump grinder down into the fenced area to remove another stump at the bottom corner of our property (I figured we might as well go for broke and have them both done at the same time).


While the tree experts made short work of the second stump, Mike and the boys went down to check out the big dirt-and-sawdust pile that remained of the first one. Max, who is in a major jumping phase, played King of the Hill while Mike and Liam walked around and kicked the metaphorical tires of the site. Then Liam ran inside to get his truck book so he could educate Max about skid steers--it reminded me of J when he was little, always knowing the "proper" names for mechanical equipment. All in all, it was an exciting start to our Sunday, which was otherwise pretty laid-back (with the exception of a birthday for someone I won't mention except to say that it was a much more relaxed day than the one she had last year).






love slaves


In my family, we have a terrible tradition; we call it "The Love Slaves." It all started many years ago (at least 15, but probably not 20) when my mom's crazy cousin gave a small bronze statue to my grandparents. I'm sure it was a copy of some famous work, but I have no idea what it might have been and my Google search terms are only resulting in fetish sites and weird abstract art. Anyway, the statue featured a man and a woman, naked, kneeling and facing each other, and kissing. So Gram and Grandpa had this statue, but they weren't sure what to do with it, so they just set it on a table in the family room. Eventually, one of their enterprising and creative children (I'm not pointing any fingers, but I can hazard a guess) draped a chain around the figures, and put up a sign that read, "Mike and Bev: Love Slaves Forever." And thus the Love Slaves were born.


Eager to get rid of the thing, Gram and Grandpa gave it as a gift during my Uncle Steve and Aunt Pam's engagement party. Steve and Pam then gave it to the next of the siblings to get married, and so forth. Along the way, the statue was "lost" (again, I'm not pointing any fingers, but I suspect foul play) and a few weddings took place without it. "Fortunately" for me, one of my enterprising family members came up with a replacement, just in time for my engagement party. The new Love Slaves statue is a replica of Rodin's The Kiss, only not nearly as nice.


And so the tradition continues, but now we're really having fun with it. When my cousin Amelia got married last year, my mom altered the Love Slaves with a coat of bright yellow paint (for reasons that escape me), then painted on the (known) tattoos of Amelia and Todd. And now it's Bethany and Joe's turn. The Love Slaves have been freshly painted in a classy blue-and-white scheme, with distinctive features added. You'll notice that the man is bald (my mom made a plaster mold to achieve that effect) and the woman has long brown hair. Tattoos have been added, but the crowning touch really is that the male statue is missing a couple of toes (Joe had a lawnmower accident as a kid).

And now we just wait for the next unsuspecting victim...er, bride or groom.

wedding party


Saturday afternoon, Max and I set out for my sister Bethany's house to enjoy a hog roast in celebration of her marriage to Joe. Why only Max, you ask? I'm sure you'll be shocked to learn that it was because Liam made a series of exceptionally bad choices, so he stayed home with Mike, and Max and I went without him. Mike did end up bringing Liam a couple of hours later, but only because there were relatives there who hadn't seen Liam since he was a baby (and because Mike assured me that Liam had been behaving well since we left him behind).


Anyway, the party was great. There was plenty of good food, and it was cool enough to be comfortable outside. Fortunately, they had a giant tent set up, because it rained off and on through the afternoon, sometimes pretty hard. There were a few really loud thunder rumbles, which scared cousin Emma so bad that she ran to sit on Uncle Greg's lap for comfort. She got over it pretty quickly though, and ran to the edge of the tent to get soaked in the runoff water. Then she ran back and pretended to be scared again so she could get Greg all wet too. Sneaky child.



Liam and Max were in their element. They got to play games, run, jump, and not have to be constantly monitored (which made it a good time for us, too). We left in the early evening because the boys were wiped out, but apparently the party raged on until the wee hours of the morning. Congratulations, Bethany and Joe!


Sunday, August 10, 2008

i think i was misled

Several friends truthfully told me that three was a harder age than two. They were totally right -- the fits and temper tantrums were way worse for Liam as a three-year-old, and probably not helped by moving states and switching schools right before his birthday. But these same friends assured me that four is the age at which things get easier. So, friends, cough it up: when during the fourth year? Liam has been four for nearly two months, and if anything, his behavior has gotten worse. He bursts into tears at the least provocation (for example, if he doesn't have the right color lid on his sippy cup; or if I put a lid on when he wanted to use the cup without one) and fights with Max at the drop of a hat. For the last week, he's just been out of control. We've given him timeouts, we've given him chances to make better choices and get rewarded with things that he wants, we've taken away things that he wants when he's rotten, and now we're not sure what else to do. So, friends who told me four was better, ease my mind. Drop a comment in to tell me when during that year your son or daughter stopped being so temperamental and touchy.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

back to the playground

Loni and Klaudia took the boys over to Washington School last night and met up with cousins Kelsey, Emma, Jimmy, and Gracie for a fun playdate. Max has suddenly gotten brave about climbing, and even Gracie seemed like she wanted to give the rock wall a shot.




puzzles!

Liam's newest obsession is puzzles. He's always liked them, but all of the sudden he has no problem putting together puzzles that are bigger and more complicated. Last night after dinner he went into a puzzle frenzy and put together all the puzzles we have (aside from the "baby" puzzles, of course).


Tuesday, August 05, 2008

hair of the dog (or: at least someone started the work week off on the right foot)


Sunday, I hosted a brunch baby shower for my cousin Amelia. Good times were had by all, and the mom-to-be is now hopefully all set up with the things she'll need to welcome her baby girl later this month. We all enjoyed plenty of good food and beverages, which is what this story is really about.

Early Sunday morning, I hit the grocery store to get food for the shower -- just my contribution; thanks to all the other relatives who brought tasty dishes! On my list was juice for mimosas, so I decided to do something a little different, and picked up some pomegranate-blueberry juice. Just before the party started, I was still running around doing all the last-minute things people do before parties, so my mom mixed up the pitcher of mimosas. They were delicious! A very different taste from the ordinary mimosa.

Fast-forward to Monday morning, when I got up and started my day. I heated up some leftover quiche for breakfast. When I got it out of the fridge, I noticed that we still had half a jug of pomegranate-blueberry juice left. Hmm, I thought, that juice will be just the thing to round off my breakfast. So I poured a big glass of it. I was really thirsty, so I gulped most of it down right away. And then...I noticed two things simultaneously:

1. The juice had suspicious carbonation bubbles.
2. My head was spinning.

Texted my mom right away for verification purposes, and yes, it turns out that she just poured the other half of the bottle of champagne in with the juice to conserve space. I (inadvertently) started her work week off on the right foot by giving her (and my grandpa, and probably any customers who happened to wander into the store) a good laugh at my inebriated state. Glad I could help, Mom.

from the garden

It's our second summer here, and we still haven't gotten our act together enough outside to plant a garden. We did, however, plant some bean seeds along the fence, and lo, the plants were fruitful:


to the beach


The highlight of Liam and Max's week (possibly of their year) was a trip to the beach this weekend. Mike took them to visit his folks at their cottage in Michigan, and they drove to a nearby beach (on Lake Michigan) to enjoy the sun and surf. It was a much-anticipated trip. Max spent the whole week composing and singing songs about it, and Liam asked every morning if it was Sunday yet so they could go. From the looks of it, they weren't disappointed. Mike reports that Liam was bold enough to go way out on a sandbar with Grandma and Grandpa, while Max opted to stay behind and dig a big hole, which Liam obligingly filled with water. Max also spent some time grinding the sand and mud into his own hair. And once they were wiped out, they headed back to the cottage, where two (thankfully cleaned off) little boys decided to take a siesta in Grandma and Grandpa's bed before heading back home.






a brand-new parenting challenge


We thought we'd seen it all (or at least, most of it) with Liam. We were wrong.

Max has suddenly developed an aversion to getting his diaper changed. At first, he would just protest if we changed him on a table or counter (they use a mat on a countertop at daycare). Then his protests turned into crying jags, and his crying jags turned into full-out kicking, screaming tantrums. We didn't have much of a problem at home, because we usually lay him on the floor to change him, but lately, even that is freaking him out.

Friday, I went to pick the boys up from school and was greeted with the news that Max held in his pee all day long, presumably to keep from getting his diaper changed up on the counter. All day! I don't know anybody who can hold it that long -- the boy has an iron will.

Oh yes, I know what you're thinking. Maybe it's time for potty training? We had the same thought, so we tried him on Saturday, and he stayed dry for about an hour, but freaked out every time we put him on the potty (big or little). Eventually, he went and hid in a corner and peed on the floor. Then he cried and asked for a diaper (which he freaked out about next time we had to change him). I even offered him the chocolate bribe that worked so well when Liam was potty training, but to no avail.

So now he's holding it in all day and only going at night when he's at home. This is not normal behavior. I'm worried that he's going to give himself a UTI or something. So, readers, any of you have similar experiences with your kids? Any advice? The strategy right now is to just keep trying him with the potty at home, though I still think that at two and a half, he's not quite ready yet...