and he's off!

On Monday, Liam officially turned 16 and 90 days, but the BMV is closed on Mondays, so yesterday I rescheduled my workday (somehow scheduling myself for like 14 hours of work in one day in the process) so I could take him during his study hall/lunch break.

We already had all the paperwork done, but of course I am always suspicious when it comes to the BMV because those picky bastards seem to take real joy in telling me I need a copy of my light bill from two addresses ago, along with a lock of hair from my mother's cat and a lucky penny found near a beaver dam by the light of the full moon. Seriously, it took me *three* tries to satisfy them with enough documents before they would issue me a Real ID. What's up with that? Anyway, I dug out passports, Social Security cards, birth certificates, and proof of address for us both, along with a marriage license for me, just in case.

And so of course it turned out that we didn't need any of that stuff because we already provided it when he got his permit back in February. (But mark my words: If I hadn't brought all of that, they definitely would have asked me for it!!) So all we had to do was wait in a long line (for Plymouth) and try to distance ourselves from other people as best we could until it was his turn. But then it was just bing bong boom. A couple signatures and $17.50 later, and we were on our way.

Liam brought me back home to get back to work, then he and Max headed out to pick up Jimmy John's for lunch. And then he drove himself to and from school for his tennis match last night. 

I'm sensing increased freedom for us all!

*****************

UPDATE: Liam has already figured out how to monetize having his license. After extensive machinations, he talked each of his brothers into giving him $10 to stop at DQ for blizzards on his way home from his tennis match tonight. That's $5 for the blizzard, and $5 for Liam's commission. Times two. These kids, I'm telling you!

fall comes to the pasture

My work really gets busy during political season, and this year is worse than many others. My main company is running on a very small crew (since people got let go at the start of the pandemic), plus I'm still working on side projects because I need to keep relationships going so I have work to do after the election. So there hasn't been a ton of time for ... really anything other than work.

Mike, meanwhile, is also being overworked. The problem at his company has been turnover. Lots of people are leaving, and the company has responded by mandating that the people who are still there work six days a week for the rest of the year (!!) so they can make their numbers. To me, this is a ridiculous way to run a business because nobody wants to work six days every week, so they end up losing more workers, which exacerbates the problem they were trying to address in the first place. Ummmm just a suggestion, but maybe better pay, benefits, or working conditions would help you hire and retain good people? I don't know, just spitballing here.

Anyway, given all that, I was as surprised as the next person when I ended up totally blowing off work yesterday to spend the day paying bills, visiting with my mom, taking a walk through the pasture with Mike, and reading a book in the bathtub. Oh, and then driving around town until 11 with Liam and Max hunting Pokemon so Liam could get in the last of his nighttime driving hours. I can't say I woke up today ready to face the day with tons of enthusiasm, but I can say that I definitely needed that day off.

Anyway, for your viewing pleasure, here are some shots of fall in the pasture. Mike likes the summer best, but my favorite has always been fall, and I don't think it's hard to see why.

covid, six months in

 I read a thread the other day that really resonated with me. This is by Dr. Aisha Ahmad, an international security professor at University of Toronto. I'm going to copy it in its entirety from her Twitter thread.

The 6 month mark in any sustained crisis is always difficult. We have all adjusted to this "new normal", but might now feel like we're running out of steam. Yet, at best, we are only 1/3 the way through this marathon. How can we keep going? 

First, in my experience, this is a very normal time to struggle or slump. I *always* hit a wall 6 months into a tough assignment in a disaster zone. The desire to "get away" or "make it stop" is intense. I've done this many times, and at 6 months, it's like clockwork.

This time, our crisis is global and there is nowhere to run. That's OK. I've had to power through that 6 month hump before and there is life on the other side. Right now, it feels like we looking ahead at long, dark wintery tunnel. But it's not going to be like that.

Rather, this is our next major adaptation phase. We've already re-learned how to do groceries, host meetings, and even teach classes. And we have found new ways to be happy and have fun. But as the days get shorter and colder, we need to be ready to innovate again.

This is my first pandemic, but not my first 6 month wall. So, what can I share to help you? First, the wall is real and normal. And frankly, it's not productive to try to ram your head through it. It will break naturally in about 4-6 weeks if you ride it out.

Of course, there are things we have to do. Work. Teach. Cook. Exercise. But just don't expect to be sparklingly happy or wildly creative in the middle of your wall. Right now, if you can meet your obligations and be kind to your loved ones, you get an A+.

Also, don't be afraid that your happiness & creativity are gone for the rest of this marathon. Not true. I assure you that it will soon break & you will hit a new stride. But today, roll with it. Clear away less challenging projects. Read a novel. Download that meditation app. 

Frankly, even though we cannot physically leave this disaster zone, try to give yourself a mental or figurative "shore leave". Short mental escapes can offer respite and distance from the everyday struggle. Take more mental "leave" until you clear the wall.

In my experience, this 6 month wall both arrives and dissipates like clockwork. So I don't fight it anymore. I don't beat myself up over it. I just know that it will happen & trust that the dip will pass. In the meantime, I try to support my mental & emotional health.

Take heart. We have navigated a harrowing global disaster for 6 months, with resourcefulness & courage. We have already found new ways to live, love, and be happy under these rough conditions. A miracle & a marvel. This is hard proof that we have what it takes to keep going.

So, dear friends, do not despair of the 6 month wall. It's not permanent, nor will it define you in this period of adversity. Trust that the magic that helped you through the first phase is still there. Take a breath & a pause. You'll be on the other side in no time.

Friends, I feel this in my soul. I've hit a wall for sure. Everything feels impossibly hard and hopeless. I do not feel successful or creative. I feel ... resigned and scared. But it helps to know this is normal. That I'm not the only one feeling this way, even though it very much seems like it sometimes. 

We just keep going, and eventually, something will shift. It has to.

covid, still

Max is all of us trying to get through this.

This pandemic will never end. 

There are now more than 200,000 dead Americans, and some people (notably people in the Republican Party) want to pretend like everything is back to normal. Weddings and baby showers and funerals and rallies are happening. It boggles my mind. Is it ... just not real for some people until it hits home?

I don't know. I don't have the answers. I can tell you, though, that it's hard to fight that pull. I want things to be normal. I do. My brother and sister-in-law's baby shower was yesterday, and I wanted to be there. Even to play the annoying baby shower games. Just to stand and laugh and talk to people and look forward to having another nephew. But I can't ignore this pandemic, so instead I went early, gave them their gift, and got out of there before the guests arrived. 

I want to go eat at a restaurant. I want to fly on a plane and visit a national park. I want to sit on the bleachers and watch my kid play tennis. And six months after this pandemic started, none of that is even remotely possible. STILL. 

But life still has sweet moments. Jack and Avalon and my parents came to watch Liam's final home match of the season (from chairs we set up in the grass), and Henry spent the whole time helping Jack hunt for four-leaf clovers that he could bring to my mom. 

I took Liam to get his driving test on Saturday, and he passed with flying colors. The instructor said it was clear that he has been driving a lot because he's very comfortable and smooth. Liam said he didn't really fit in the test car because his knees were jammed up against the dash, but he made it work. Now he only needs three more hours of night driving, then a week from today he can get his license.

And yesterday was our anniversary. We've been married for 17 years, and I can't think of anyone I'd rather suffer through a pandemic with. I got Mike the most romantic gift ever—I installed a pull-out garbage bin in one of the kitchen cabinets. He is very excited, you guys. Trust me when I say this gift is TRUE LOVE. Henry had to help me with the installation a little, because he's the only one of us still small enough to fit into the cabinet to put in the back screws. We got it all done just before Mike got home from work, and I surprised him with Oscar the Grouch singing "I Love Trash" in the background. Because we are nerds, and we are perfect for each other. 

covid: ides of september edition

Political season is upon us, friends, which means I am slammed slammed slammed at work every day. Political ads galore. I'm wrapping up a couple of side projects for work too, so I've been spending a lot of time chained to my desk.

Which obviously makes this the perfect time to tear some things out of the kitchen, namely that ugly-ass decorative tile backsplash. I've spent the past few days with mallet and chisel, patiently (ha! not so patiently) chipping away at each individual mortared-in piece, and I've got about half the walls done. Credit to Liam, though, because I'm too short and too boobalicious to reach the corner, so he was kind enough to remove those tiles for me. It's a big project, but honestly, it will make me feel better just to get *something* done. I feel like we've been treading water all year, and barely at that, so any movement in a forward direction is worth this residual soreness, not to mention all the sanding and mudding and painting in my future.

Yes, it's ridiculous. Yes, I'm doing it anyway.

In other news, we're running lots of countdowns around here.

13 days until Liam gets his license

14 days until the last tennis match of the regular season

27 days until the boys (probably) go back to in-person school

31 days until we leave for vacation (!!!)

49 days until the election

Plus an endless number of days until life goes back to something resembling normal. 

Counting down is so much more satisfying than counting up the number of days in this endless, relentless pandemic hellscape, don't you think? At least some things have an endpoint.

covid diary: a day of some number in september

Labor Day is over, which means political season is kicking into high gear, which means that for the next eight weeks or so, I'll be busy busy busy at work. Which obviously makes it the perfect time to plan a vacation. I'm only half joking with that. Fall break is coming up, and political season be damned, we're getting out of this house. We bought those plane tickets to Vegas, but we still can't see ourselves using them (too risky!) so instead we're going to drive somewhere. Not to worry, we won't be out a single cent for the plane tickets since we bought them with Southwest credits. They'll just go back into our account, and we'll have to use them by sometime next year. 

Anyway! Let's catch up. Max got his cast removed, Liam continues to play in tennis matches (though he has a notably lackluster doubles partner this year, which puts a real drag on the proceedings), and Henry is very excited about something something Fortnite (this is a video game about which I now have extensive knowledge because Henry never stops talking about it; however, I won't inflict all that vastly important knowledge on you — just know that next time you see Henry, he'll tell you ALL about it if you ask. or even if you don't). 

We're fresh off a long weekend of work, work, and some other work. I wrapped up a couple of side projects (well, mostly wrapped up, just a few odds and ends left and then I can bill for them) on Saturday and Sunday. Mike did all his usual weekend things, getting the groceries, mowing the yard, etc. And then yesterday, Mike and Henry decided to cross a huge thing off our project list: they dismantled the hot tub!

Friends, I tried, I really did, but it turns out that once a hot tub outlives its functional life (which this one did sometime around a decade ago), nobody will take it off your hands. You can't even pay someone to come and get it for scrap. Believe me, I made all the phone calls inquiring. And then I turned to the boys' favorite resource: youtube. What a wondrous and helpful place the internet can be sometimes! I found videos showing how to cut your old hot tub up for disposal, along with instructions for the tools you would need. Luckily, I happen to have a connection to one of the world's preeminent tool collectors, so I hit my dad up for the appropriate tool (a sawzall, kind of like a VERY MANLY version of an electric knife you would use for carving a turkey) and then hit Amazon up for a three-pack of the special blades that cut through all hot tub materials, and we were in business. Ummmmm ... Mike was in business.

It took him the whole damned day, but eventually Mike won the Battle of the Hot Tub in spectacular fashion. Take a look at these before, during, and after shots. And now we have all this extra space out on the patio. No idea what we'll do with it, if anything. Definitely clean it first thing.

Now we just have to spend the next 100 weeks (give or take) getting rid of it piece by piece in our trash bin every week.

In national news, the president wants to pretend that coronavirus is over and everything's back to normal, even though it very clearly is not. He's got other problems on his hands now too because at least five major news outlets have independently verified and reported on his comments about our military. You will be shocked (SHOCKED!) to learn that Trump thinks people who serve in the military are "suckers," and people who die for their country are "losers." It's revolting. He's revolting. How do people twist up their logic to believe in this guy? 

Meanwhile, Sen. Kamala Harris busted out her Chuck Taylors and jeans and flew to Kenosha to speak in person to the family of Jacob Blake, a Black man shot in the back seven times by police for ... I don't even know what. They were already holding him by the shirt, so shooting him in the back was just egregious. Protests against this kind of police brutality have continued for more than 100 days now, all across the country. And guess how the police reacted? If you guessed WITH MORE VIOLENCE, you're right! Everything is such a mess. Will we ever go back to normal?

I'm dealing with this pandemic in a perfectly normal way: working ridiculous hours, then surfacing to pester Mike with projects I dream of doing. Can we build shelves in the laundry room? What about the pantry? Can we replace some floors? Can I take a hammer to the ugly backsplash in the kitchen? Can I paint the kitchen countertops? No? Then what about putting new laminate on top of the old laminate? Will we ever finish the basement? 

Honestly, I'm pretty sure he decided to finally tackle the hot tub project just to not have to hear me offer one more excellent-but-probably-more-expensive-than-we-think idea. 

Anyway, I'd love to write more, but I've got a new proposal to discuss with Mike. Stay tuned!

covid diary: day 175

 It's been a while since we checked in with the CDC. Hmm, I wonder what they're up to?

Oh, relaxing testing guidance on orders from the White House? Cool cool. That will definitely reduce our number of positive tests. Remember: If we do less testing, we have much lower cases! (Note: We do not have much lower cases. The president is a moron.)

But wait, there's more. Over the weekend, there were lots of headlines like this one: "New CDC report shows 94% of COVID-19 deaths in US had underlying medical conditions." And you'll never guess what followed: lots and lots and lots of people (including some in very high places) claiming that the "real" death count is only 6% of the 180,000+ people who have died of COVID-19. 

Which, to put it mildly, is complete bullshit.

Here's what the CDC actually said:

"For 6% of the deaths, COVID-19 was the only cause mentioned. For deaths with conditions or causes in addition to COVID-19, on average, there were 2.6 additional conditions or causes per death." 

You can see that it doesn't say that only 6% of the 180,000 died of COVID-19, right?  And if you actually read the chart (at the link above) and look at the "underlying conditions," a lot of them are caused by COVID-19. Respiratory failure. Cardiac arrest. Sepsis. Renal failure. 

They also list preexisting conditions, including hypertension and obesity. Mike has high blood pressure, but if he gets COVID-19 and dies, he will have died from COVID-19, not from high blood pressure. I am fat, but if I get COVID-19 and die, I will have died from COVID-19, not from being fat. It's absolutely ridiculous to say otherwise. 

And yet.

Look at this retweet from Trump (which has since been deleted, but guess what, the internet is forever): “This week the CDC quietly updated the Covid number to admit that only 6% of all the 153,504 deaths recorded actually died from Covid. That's 9,210 deaths The other 94% had 2-3 other serious illnesses & the overwhelming majority were of very advanced age.”

Bull. Shit. 

But don't take my word for it. How about asking the country's leading infectious disease expert? Take it away, Dr. Fauci:

"The point that the CDC was trying to make was that a certain percentage of people who died had nothing else but just COVID. That does not mean that someone who has hypertension or diabetes who dies of COVID didn't die of COVID-19. They did. So the numbers you've been hearing, the 180,000-plus deaths, are real deaths from COVID-19. Let there not be any confusion about that. It's not 9,000 deaths from COVID-19. It's 180,000-plus deaths." 

 Oh hey, and what do you know? This afternoon the CDC director sent an urgent letter to all governors asking them to expedite the process and clear any barriers to operation for vaccine distribution facilities (including waiving requirements, if necessary) so they are "fully operational by November 1."

November 1, you say? Surely it's a coincidence. SURELY this administration wouldn't be pushing through an untested, unproven vaccine just so they can make it public two days before Election Day. 

Oh wait. They totally would, and they totally are. Not just that, but the U.S. has also refused to sign on with 170+ other countries to develop a system to develop, make, and fairly distribute a vaccine. The administration says it's because they refuse to partner with the WHO, which is completely stupid and shortsighted. More than 170 countries (there are only 195 total, for the love of socks!) want to work together to make the world safer again. Trump just wants to have the credit. I bet if those 170 countries agreed to slap his name/branding on it, he would jump at the chance to join their vaccine project. 

This reminds me of that time when so many countries worked together with the WHO to create reliable test kits way back in March, and the U.S. rejected that partnership too. How did going it alone work out for us with that again?

We're in real trouble, friends. There are 62 more days until the election.

covid diary: day 174

 Listen, I'm no expert on human behavior, but let me just say that if you are the president, and you start tweeting out of the blue about how you DIDN'T have to be rushed to Walter Reed Medical Center because you had a series of mini-strokes ... that's gonna raise some questions.

What a deeply weird preemptive denial. 

But that's how we live now, I guess? Something definitely happened. Reporting indicates that Mike Pence was kept in the area because they thought he would have to assume the presidency that day if Trump went under anesthesia. That's ... not standard procedure. And what about all the subsequent mentions of him being given cognitive tests ("man, woman, person, camera, TV")? Doctors don't just go around administering cognitive tests if they don't have any questions about the cognitive ability of the test taker.

I'm just saying. 

It keeps getting worse. How will we get through the next 63 days?

UGH.