covid diary: day 50

Storytime! When I worked at Borders, we had tons of author events. Everyone from Jimmy Carter (who shared his pizza with us in the break room) to Lyle Lovett (who gave signed copies of his latest CD to everyone working when he performed there) to JK Rowling (the line was unbelievable!) to Ray Bradbury (he wandered in off the street by himself, completely casual and disheveled) to George R.R. Martin (who I happened to be on the same El car with afterward ― this was before he got super famous and the TV show took off) came to our store to sign things and give readings and performances. But one incident stands out in my mind.

The year was 1998, and talk-show host Jerry Springer was promoting his book Ringmaster!, so named because his show was very much a circus filled with dysfunctional and unpredictable guests. (Side note: My mom used to watch the show at the liquor store every day, and she would delight in telling all the customers that they only watched it because Gramps insisted. He did not, in fact, insist on it, but she liked seeing people's faces when they thought he did.) The event was fine, nobody got attacked, and we all made it through ok. Afterward, I happened to be on the elevator with a customer when Jerry Springer himself got on. I smiled but didn't say anything to him. The customer, meanwhile, started gushing and fawning. "I love your show!" she exclaimed. "I watch it every single day!"

Springer replied, in an extremely dry tone, "I'm sorry."

Listen, Jerry Springer didn't get to be the head of a television empire on his good looks. He's smart and canny. He has a J.D. from Northwestern. He was a political advisor to Robert F. Kennedy. He was the mayor of Cincinnati and served a couple terms on the city council. I mean, yeah, his first term did end in scandal when it came out that he had paid a prostitute with a check that bounced, but after that, he owned up to what he had done, was completely honest about it, and won his seat back in the next election. And yes, he's spent the past 40 or so years being known as the host of the grossest tabloid talk show ever created. But that just makes him uniquely qualified to comment on today's situation.

Here's what Jerry Springer had to say this week:

There is no excuse [for televising the daily presidential briefings], now that we know what they’re like, for just turning on the cameras. ... To just turn on the cameras on Trump for an hour and a half? That’s not journalism, that’s technology. ... Trump gets up there and spews his stuff, which is different every day and then ― finally! ― the doctors get up there and, basically, refute what he’s saying. ... There are some people crazy enough to listen to the president and they’re the ones going out there spreading the disease.

I don't know about you, friends, but I would 100 percent vote for Jerry Springer for president right now. Then again, I would vote for one of the dead possums in our trap that Mike then throws into the neighbor's field under cover of darkness if it meant we could get Trump out of there.

We're over a million cases of COVID-19 nationally, and more than 60,000 Americans have died. Infections are running wild in places where people are packed close together: nursing homes, prisons ... and meat-packing plants. We're on the verge of complete food chain breakdown, so the president's response is to sign an executive order mandating that the meat-packing plants reopen or stay open, and declaring the workers essential, along with a neat provision that exempts the plants themselves for any liability they might have in not protecting their employees. So great, we'll all have chicken and ground beef, but at what human cost? Trump certainly doesn't care about that.

In positive news, I've been reading about vaccines advancing to human trials, and another drug showing potential for treating COVID-19. And by that I mean potential based on results from an actual study, not based on whatever word salad the president decides to disgorge on any given day. Let's hope there's some relief in sight soon.

And finally, in breaking extremely local news, all the spring birds decided to come back today! It rained off and on all day, but the feeders had a riot of color and activity. It was a delight to watch. Here's a little sampling.

It's 10 p.m. now, and I'm off to work on a last-minute rush project for a medical client. You'll never guess what the topic is!

Nationwide cases: 1,038,451. Deaths: 60,876.

covid diary: day 49

Optimistic oriole feeder, waiting for
the first customers of the season.

Let's start with a question today.

If an American president loses more Americans over the course of six weeks than died in the entirety of the Vietnam War, does he deserve to be re-elected?

Reporter Olivia Nuzzi asked Trump that at last night's coronavirus briefing. GET. IT. OLIVIA. NUZZI. Of course, he didn't answer the question, just babbled on about how the death count is "way down" from what was initially predicted blah blah sneeze. But she asked the question, and it needed to be asked. And obviously, the answer is no, absolutely not, and he didn't deserve to be elected in the first place.

Hey, remember when Trump said he was done with doing the coronavirus briefings after he suggested that we should inject disinfectants and possibly infrared light into human people to "clean" them of the "invisible enemy"? I do too, because it was Friday, and last night was Monday, and he was back to doing stupid self-congratulatory briefings. He lasted two whole days without doing a briefing. And yesterday's was on the schedule, then canceled, then reinstated, all at his whim. Cool way to run a country.

You know what else is cool? The Pentagon released videos of UFOs. I'm serious. They're calling them "unidentified aerial phenomena," but what they mean is UFOs. And the Navy has now issued official guidance for Americans who want to report UFO sightings. And it's not a big deal at all and is barely getting any attention in the media. Double cool. We're all stuck in our houses trying not to die from a brand-new virus we can't figure out, and now the aliens are coming for us too. Perfect.

This afternoon we had a special treat. Henry and I drove over to Riverside (where he'll go to school next year, circumstances willing) and went for a walk along the greenway trail with Bethany, Klaudia, Emeri, and Judah the dog. Henry walked Judah, or maybe Judah walked Henry. I got to meet my beautiful great-nephew (from afar; I didn't hold him or even get close to him) and see my sister and niece, and we all got to enjoy a little fresh air. We weren't out long, but it felt really nice. Judah is all of six days old now, and he had a checkup yesterday and was proclaimed very healthy. Klaudia is still super tired, but she seems to be really enjoying motherhood so far.

"Hi! I'm new."

After dinner, Mike and the boys went out and put up the rest of the birdhouses. It looks like a proper nature area back there now. It started raining as they were coming back inside, so I didn't get to go out and explore. Can't wait until it dries up.

And I ended the day with a long conversation with my aunt Pam in Boston. We haven't talked in a long time, and it was really, really nice to catch up. If there's one thing I've learned from this pandemic, it's that you really should tell your loved ones how much you appreciate them (and if possible, why you appreciate them!), so I'm glad I got a chance to do that tonight.

Nationwide cases: 1,012,583. Deaths: 58,355.

covid diary: day 48

frost, April 27. sigh.

Yesterday, the pandemic claimed another victim: Dr. Lorna M. Breen, the medical director of the emergency department at New York-Presbyterian Allen Hospital, died by suicide. Dr. Breen worked in one of the NYC hospitals hardest hit by COVID-19, and she contracted it herself, but went back to work after a brief recovery period. Dr. Breen had no history of mental health issues, and her father said she described the stress of seeing so many patients dying, many of them before they could even be unloaded from ambulances. In a statement reported by the New York Times, her father said, “Make sure she’s praised as a hero, because she was. She’s a casualty just as much as anyone else who has died.” My heart breaks for Dr. Breen and her family and colleagues, especially since I know this won't be the only ancillary death that results from this pandemic. I haven't seen any statistics, but I would imagine that as people deal with the loss of their loved ones, the overwhelming financial burden of getting medical care to stay alive, or the financial stress of job loss, the rate of suicide will rise.

And in a mark of just how absurd this new reality is, the very next thing I read today is that two cats have tested positive for COVID-19, and the CDC recommends that social distancing guidelines be applied to pets now too. So ... you know ... don't let anyone outside your immediate family pet your cat or give your dog any ear skritches.

It was a quiet weekend around here. Mike built some more birdhouses, so soon the pasture trails will all have them. We're also planning to plant some wildflowers in random clumps all around the pasture. I got an email from my boss cutting my hours even further; I'm down to 50 percent of my pre-pandemic hours now. (Don't worry, we're fine for now.) In good news, the IRS fixed the glitch in its website related to zero filers (people like us who neither got a return nor had to pay taxes last year), so I was able to put our bank information in the system. Allegedly, we will have a deposit as early as next week. I'll keep you posted on that, though I'm skeptical.

Last night I made brownies for dessert and we sat out by the fire and ate them and chatted. I asked the boys what they miss the most that we can't do anymore, and all three of them answered "school." Max misses his friends, Liam misses his friends and learning new things in class and challenging himself, and Henry misses his friends and having a structure to his day. "I miss it because it took up so much time," he said. "Now I have all this time and I don't have anything to do with it."

Funny, because today was an elearning day, and around midday Henry's teacher sent me a message: "I thought you'd want to see Henry's writing response."

Don't worry, I put a transcript below.

Prompt: This is your chance to practice writing 2 paragraphs (12 lines). Below, write about what you enjoyed most about this story AND was the author’s choice to tell the story of humans along with the story of the redwood a good one? (First paragraph, state what you like about the story. Use examples from the story. In the second paragraph, state your opinion about the way the author used humans and redwoods written together. Again, use examples from the story. 

Henry’s response:
I did not like anything about the story. I do have to right this paragraph tho. A paragraph is six sentences, sentence one is about your opinion or the argument that you are making. Sentences 2-5 are you supporting your argument or justifying your opinion. For example: I did not find the book to be interesting. Sentence 6 is you restating your opinion or closing your argument, for example: I did not find this story to be interesting but I am required by law to write these paragraphs.
My opinion about the way that the author used humans and redwoods is that it was not interesting. As I said in my previous paragraph I did not find the story to be interesting. Yet I am still required to write this paragraph. I do enjoy writing these bland paragraphs tho. I do not like writing paragraphs but I’m trying to make this interesting. This is my final sentence and I have hated doing these two paragraphs.

Oh, Henry. Needless to say, I made him rewrite the two paragraphs. I told him it's fine if he didn't like the story or didn't think the author effectively articulated the premise, but he has to support that opinion with evidence from the text. After about two hours, he came back down and showed me this:

I did not find the story to be interesting. I think that the story was too long because the author could have shown the life of the tree without the current event at that point. I think that the author could have shortened the story by removing the points of the animals and the humans. I think that the author could have explained the inner working of the tree. I feel that the author could have focused more on the trees' different parts. Again, I did not find the story interesting.
My opinion on the way that the author used humans and redwoods together was that it wasn’t interesting. I think that in the section that the author talked about humans that they could have elaborated on the things the people were doing. I think that the author could have done something different with the humans and the tree together. I think that the author could have made a more significant connection between the tree, the ecosystem, and the humans. I think that the author could have added a way to explain the ecosystem that the tree needs. I did not think that the way the author used the humans and redwoods was interesting.

Meanwhile, Max had to do a fashion show in Chinese, which meant that he finally got around to taking a shower and grooming himself. Kudos to Max! Liam has been pacing himself pretty well to get all his work done, but like I mentioned, he hates not being able to learn and be challenged in a classroom setting. His English class finished reading Macbeth (in graphic novel format, which I will never stop being offended by), moved on to horror, and is now doing science fiction. He had to send a greeting in Spanish to one of his friends via social media. (History and trig and chemistry are much harder, but I do know a viewing of Schindler's List is in his future as an extra credit opportunity for history. I have the inside track on that since his teacher is my aunt Laura. I'll watch it with him but probably I'll regret that afterward when I am once again overwhelmed by man's inhumanity to man.) 

In the mail today, we got a surprise: My friend Valerie made us each a mask and sent them from San Antonio. Here's Liam modeling his. 

It started drizzling around dinnertime, but it wasn't enough to keep me and Mike from taking a walk around the pasture. We planned out the locations of the new birdhouses, talked about our plans for improving the trails gradually, and generally just enjoyed being in the quiet together. 

And the night ended with a twist. Max came up from the basement in tears. "Mom, I made a mistake," he told me. Turns out he and Liam were messing around, and he kicked backward and put a heel-size hole in the wall. In a funny twist, I was about Max's age when I put my foot through a wall at my parents' house (I was also messing around, trying to climb up the wall in the hallway by putting my back against one side and my feet against the other, which worked great until I got halfway up and my foot went through the wall, oops), so I knew exactly what to do. And just like my dad taught me how to drywall and patch and fill and sand and paint, so tonight I taught Max about the joys of spackle, and over the next few days he'll get the satisfaction of sanding and smoothing and painting. And so the world carries on, one generation to the next. Good night, friends.

Nationwide cases: 987,022. Deaths: 56,144.

covid diary: day 45

The Onion is a satirical newspaper. It used to be a free physical newspaper that came out once a week. Back in my Borders days, I would read every page every week. I love The Onion. I own no less than three compilation books of articles and columns from The Onion. But that doesn't mean I want to actually be living in a world that could be imagined by The Onion. Go on, look at the date of this tweet (there's an accompanying article, but you get the idea just from the title), which I've helpfully circled in red and pointed to with a big red arrow.

That's right. The Onion wrote this as satire a month ago. So it was written, and now it has come to pass. America's Finest News Source, indeed.

So that's where we're at. Donald Trump responds to reporters who dare to question him with "I'm the president, and you're fake news." Great, so now we're also living in the world of the movie Matilda. What's next? Miss Trunchbull is going to put us all in the chokey?

(See, I can predict the future too!)

Anyway, after a full 24 hours of being mocked and derided for his comments about injecting disinfectant into human people to kill the virus (along with several official statements from various medical authorities and the manufacturers of cleaning products, including Lysol, imploring people not to try this at home), Trump has maybe finally realized that his daily campaign revivals press briefings aren't helping him at all. That maybe people actually don't like hearing him spew dangerous nonsense day after day while attacking members of the press. So today's briefing clocked in at a mere 21 minutes, and there were no questions allowed. A couple of different outlets are reporting that he plans to pare these briefings way back, maybe even not having them every day. Praise be.

And on a serious note, today we blew right past 50,000 American deaths. Since late February. I can't wrap my head around this kind of grief and trauma. Most of these people died alone, with no chance to say goodbye or to be held or comforted by their loved ones. And now their loved ones can't hold each other for comfort either. This loss is unfathomable, and I can't even begin to see how we recover.

Nationwide cases: 905,333. Deaths: 51,949.

covid diary: day 44

I've barely seen any news today, on purpose, and what I have seen is really sad. The virus continues to take a toll around the world, and for many people, it's really close to home. Elizabeth Warren announced today that her oldest brother, Donald Reed Herring, died of complications of COVID-19. And in her inimitable style, Sen. Warren gets right to the heart of the same tragedy playing out across thousands of households every day. "What made him extra special was his smile — quick and crooked, it always seemed to generate its own light, one that lit up everyone around him," she wrote. "But it’s hard to know that there was no family to hold his hand or to say 'I love you' one more time — and no funeral for those of us who loved him to hold each other close."

I can't pretend to know what Elizabeth Warren and her family are going through right now, but I can imagine that it must be hitting her extra hard. When Sen. Warren was still in the presidential primary, way back in January (which seems like a decade ago instead of three months), she released a full, comprehensive, evidence-based plan for how to stop the spread of the coronavirus. In January. Her plan called for free comprehensive testing, a nationwide emergency paid leave program, a preemptive stimulus to get ahead of the economic effects, and comprehensive funding and support for hospitals and health researchers to develop a vaccine, along with many other pieces that address interconnected issues. All of this before we had a single fatality. If you like, you can read it here. Meanwhile, the president was busy golfing, holding Make America Clap for Me rallies, and denying there was even a problem. And because life is fundamentally unfair, Elizabeth Warren, the smartest, most prepared person in any room, the person who laid out step by step how we could get ahead of this and prevent the worst of this crisis — she's the one who is left grieving today.

Today, Illinois extended its stay-at-home order to May 31, and mandated that people wear masks in any situation where appropriate distance between people isn't possible. That's a smart move. I'd like to say that the end of May will be sufficient time, and we'll be able to go back to a relatively normal routine for the summer ... but I really don't think that's true. Yesterday the Indiana secretary of education said that they're already looking at a range of options for next school year, including having kids go to school in shifts (so there are less kids per shift) or staggering the 180 days of the school year so some kids go some months, and other kids go other months. And there's always the possibility that elearning will continue. I guess there's a chance we might just go back to a normal school schedule, but again, I really don't see how that can happen.

It's been a quiet day at home. Instead of watching the news, I decided to immerse myself into a little project, so I made a LEGO indigo bunting to hang from my ceiling with the albatross and the canary. Unlike the birds I've made before, I didn't have a plan for this one, and I made it with pieces we had in our LEGO bins. I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. Yeah, I should have been working on my side editing project, but you know what? I just needed to turn my brain off for a while. We're pushing a month and a half of staying at home, so I'll take any harmless escapism that comes my way.

Nationwide cases: 866,646. Deaths: 49,759.

Postscript. Friends, I should have stayed away from the news. Mike just came in to tell me about the president's daily circus press conference. These are words that the president of the United States just said out loud in real life in the year 2020:

A question that probably some of you are thinking of if you’re totally into that world, which I find to be very interesting. So supposing we hit the body with a tremendous — whether it’s ultraviolet or very powerful light. And I think you said that hasn’t been checked, but you’re going test it. Supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way.
And I think you said you’re going test that too. Sounds interesting. And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning. Because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number in the lungs. It would be interesting to check you’re going have to use medical doctors with that, but it sounds interesting to me. And so we’ll see. But the whole concept of the light, the way it kills it in one minute, that’s pretty powerful.

HE WANTS TO INJECT PEOPLE WITH DISINFECTANT. AND MAYBE ULTRAVIOLET RAYS. HE IS LITERALLY ASKING DOCTORS IF WE CAN PUT ISOPROPYL ALCOHOL OR MAYBE BLEACH INSIDE OF PEOPLE TO CLEAN THEM OF COVID-19.

I'm sorry for all-capsing at you, but honestly. This numbnuts is actually going to kill us all. (But her emails.)

covid diary: day 43

#GetUsPPE

I caught a tiny bit of Gov. Cuomo's daily press conference today. I tuned in just as he was showing a slide that read "BLAME ME." He was saying that as governor, he is responsible for making difficult decisions like extending the stay-at-home order, and that he knows that he shoulders the blame and the credit in equal measures. Then he went on to say that we all are interconnected, that we all depend on each other, and that we can succeed together. What a show of matter-of-fact, everyday leadership. What a breath of fresh air. What a relief to know that someone in a leadership position is willing to stand up and say, day after day, that he is willing to take any criticism that comes his way because he knows that he is doing the right thing for the people of his state.

Meanwhile, in another part of the country, you have what Twitter people have dubbed the #SickSix: the governors of Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, Tennessee, Alabama, and Mississippi, who have formed a coalition of their own to reopen their states. Except that most of these states were never actually fully closed, because all of these governors are Republicans who believe that economic interests outweigh the public good. Georgia "closed" for less than three weeks. It was April 2 when Gov. Kemp (who, let's recall, won a very close election against Stacey Abrams largely by using his former position as secretary of state to purge tens of thousands of largely Democratic voters from the rolls) realized that a person could spread COVID-19 even if that person is asymptomatic. He called that realization a "game changer." Well, apparently his game hasn't changed all that much, because now he has ordered Georgia businesses like nail and hair salons, bowling alleys, tattoo parlors, and massage parlors to open back up this week, followed by theaters and restaurants next week. Not just that, but he specifically ordered that no county or city in the state could put any restrictions in place to contradict his order.

Take a look at those businesses again. What do they have in common? They employ lots of low-wage workers, and they require people to get very close to each other. You know what's not opening up? Banks. Factories. Schools. I wonder why? One very good theory is that the businesses that are opening up are opening up specifically because Gov. Kemp wants to keep those workers off of unemployment, the funds for which are about to run out. Georgia has a cap on taxes and very restrictive borrowing laws (that's fiscal conservatism for you), so it won't be easy to replenish the state's unemployment program. I guess what's easier is to just send a bunch of people back into a dangerous situation, knowing full well that many of them will die. And Kemp certainly knows it: "We have more people moving around, we're probably going to have to see our cases continue to go up, but we're a lot better prepared for that now than we were over a month ago," he said Monday. "But if we have an instance where a community starts becoming a hot spot, then, you know, I will take further action." Sure you will, governor. Sure.

I'm so sorry, people of Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, Tennessee, Alabama, and Mississippi. Take care of yourselves, please, because your government isn't going to help.

Good gravy, y'all. I just saw an interview with the mayor of Las Vegas, Carolyn Goodman, where she offers up the city to be a "control group." And by that she means she wants to reopen everything in Las Vegas and just ... see what happens. Because she doesn't think social distancing is the reason that only (only!) 150 people have died in Las Vegas so far. She's willing to bet the lives of more than 2 million people (!!!) on her control group theory ... which I guess is dedication to the mission of Las Vegas?

I'm so sorry, people of Las Vegas. Stay safe out there! Don't let this woman gamble with your lives.

By far the best thing to happen today came late this afternoon, when our first great-nephew, Emeri James, was born. He's a big boy at 8 pounds, 11 ounces and 20 inches long. Klaudia is a champ and will be a great mom, and Bethany will love being a grandma. Emeri doesn't know it, of course, but he's so lucky to have been born into such an extraordinary family. He'll always have a whole clan at his back, ready to love him and teach him and laugh with him and stand beside him. Welcome to the world, young man. I can't wait until I get to meet you in person.

Nationwide cases: 837,947. Deaths: 46,497.

covid diary: day 42

Employees of the month:
CFO (chief fetch officer) and branch manager

Late last night, the president announced via tweet that he's going to suspend all immigration during this crisis to "protect the jobs of our GREAT American Citizens" and fight the "Invisible Enemy." OK sure. It's definitely not just that he's a xenophobic trash heap masquerading as a real human person. It's also definitely not that he's been shamelessly exploiting American racism, classism, and xenophobia since the day he came down the gold escalator (barf) at Trump Tower to announce that he was running for president and also to say that Mexicans are rapists and criminals (and some are, he's sure, good people). And even before that, when he pulled all that racist birth certificate garbage on President Obama. OH! And it's absolutely positively definitely not a Hail Mary pass designed to recoup some of the support he's lost even among his base as he has consistently bungled every aspect of the response to this crisis.

I mean, really, it's not like one out of every six health care workers in this country is an immigrant. (Fact: 20.9 percent of nursing assistants, 18.9 percent of nurse practitioners, 15.2 percent of medical assistants, 18.9 percent of lab workers, and 15 percent of registered nurses in the U.S. are immigrants.) Or one out of every four doctors. (Fact: 28.5 percent of doctors in the U.S. are immigrants.) Or one out of every three home health aides. (Fact: 35.2 percent of home health aides in the U.S. are immigrants.) And that's just one small part of the American workforce. Immigrants are everywhere. They're the lifeblood of America. They actually do make America great.

(In case you're wondering, my source is U.S. Census data. Go explore, and see how many immigrants work in your favorite industry!)

This afternoon, the Chicago Tribune reported that Gov. Pritzker says the peak isn't expected to hit Illinois until mid-May, which is weeks later than original estimates. That's great news! It means that staying at home and maintaining good social distancing practices is working. We want a lower, flatter curve. Of course, the flip side is that more people are going to be complaining about staying at home, especially as the weather gets nicer. Too bad, people. This is no time to let up. Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot also said today that she expects the stay-at-home order in Illinois to be extended until June. I'm not surprised, because it should be extended to keep people safe.

Related: I just love Lori Lightfoot memes.

Aaaaaannnnnd right on cue, Bloomberg is reporting that Attorney General Barr is considering taking legal action against governors who continue to impose stay-at-home orders. Cool cool. This is just totally normal, another boring day where the attorney general of the United States is threatening to sue governors because those governors dared to do their best to stop the spread of a pandemic. Exactly as the founders intended, I'm sure.

On the home front, no elearning today. Henry and I went into town to get school lunches for the week (they have quite a system set up, it's really very efficient and helpful), then we went to the bank drive-thru and then treated ourselves to curbside delivery at the Coffee Lodge served by our very own cousin Dylan. We haven't seen her since before this whole thing started, so we were very happy to stop by and do our part to support a local business by getting some hand-crafted frozen concoctions specially made for us, along with stroopwafels because it's highly unlikely that I'm going to go to a place with stroopwafels and not buy any. Poor Dylan and Henry also got treated to me reminiscing about the good old days when I was an exchange student at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands. Guess what I brought home as souvenirs. Go on, guess! Not wooden shoes. Not Delftware. Nope, I packed up like 10 packages of stroopwafels (all that would fit in my suitcase) and handed them out like gold bars to all my loved ones! And let me tell you, they were delighted.

Anyway. Once we got back home, we woke Max up (it was 2 p.m.!) and did our final batch of cursive for the lowercase letters (s, f, r). And then the boys completed their cursive challenge from Aunt Rita, so we'll put that in the mail for her. I must report, however, that two of my three children completely failed to answer question 5 on their own: "You are my great-great nephew. Who is your other great-great aunt?" (The answer is Aunt Marlene, Gram's sister, who lives in New York.) So we may need to embark on a genealogy unit once we learn the capital letters in cursive. Also, don't think I didn't notice, Aunt Rita, the tricksy wording in question 9: "Pluto and Thunder are great dogs! What will you name a third dog when you get one?" CLEVER!

Nationwide cases: 826,643. Deaths: 45,413.

covid diary: day 41

This morning I canceled the last of our remaining travel plans, an extended family beach vacation in July in North Carolina. This trip has been in the works for over a year now (you might remember that Kelsey, Maria, and Emma requested it), and I'm sad that we won't be able to go. Discussions have been ongoing for a couple of weeks about whether we should cancel or not, with some of my aunts and uncles advocating for a wait-and-see approach and others thinking we should go ahead and cancel because it still won't be safe to travel by July. But the tipping point came today, because I had more hours cut at work (for a total reduction of 40 percent of my hours each week), so not only will it probably not be safe for us to go, it definitely won't be financially feasible anymore. We had rented a house with my mom, along with Janis and Laura and their families. Jan and Laura might still end up going (renting a smaller house for themselves), but Marlene and the Forts are out.

It's Monday, so there's elearning, which means today was bound to be hard. But apparently that wasn't enough for the universe, because now there's a tech problem that means half the kids lost all the apps on their school ipads, so they can't access the assignments. Liam has all his apps, so he's fine, but Max and Henry lost theirs. Henry managed to get his work done, and Max has been using my laptop as a workaround. The other option they gave the kids was to have them use their phones since most kids have smartphones these days. Imagine that for a second: How hard would it be to do a full day of schoolwork on your phone screen? Every kid would have eyestrain and a blinding headache by the end of the day.

Over the weekend, lots of stuff happened nationally, but I'll summarize it by letting you know it's all bullshit. Trump belittled reporters, dodged blame, and used his press conferences to attack his political rivals. More stories came out about the federal government deliberately blocking states from getting the PPE they need. More stories came out about Trump being a damned liar who has known since NOVEMBER that we were headed for this crisis because a dozen different officials from the World Health Organization (which he is blaming somehow?) told him so. Repeatedly. More idiots protested in state capitals, gatherings that put everyone at risk and were encouraged by the president and Fox News. Oh, and guess who's organizing these "grassroots" protests? Conservative political action groups. Color me shocked. The (Republican) governor of Florida ordered all the beaches opened back up, and white people flocked to them in droves. Dear fellow white people: What is wrong with you? Go home! Stay there. Stay alive. Is this "freedom" worth the cost of your life or someone else's? If you answered yes, please re-evaluate and go back to the part where I said you should stay home.

Seriously, you can't look at all these protests and all this idiocy on display and tell me you don't notice that all these protesters are white.

Denver. Photo credit: Alyson McClaren

Harrisburg. Photo credit: Matt Rourke/AP

Huntington Beach. Photo credit: Kevin Chang/LA Times

Indianapolis. Photo credit: Jeremy Hogan/SOPA

Olympia. Photo credit: Elaine Thompson/AP

And while all these people are out and about, likely infecting each other and then bringing the virus back to their communities, around 2,000 Americans continue to die each day. Each. Day. I cannot — and will never ever be able to — understand a mindset in which people think their right to have stores open, their right go to the beach or church, their right to do really stupid things is more important than another American's right to not get infected by a deadly virus. A single other American, let alone 2,000 of them every single day.

In utterly terrifying news, today a five-year-old died of COVID-19 complications in Michigan. She had been sheltering in her home with her parents for weeks, so they're not sure how or when she contracted the virus, but she developed a complication that hasn't been seen before: meningitis. And she's not the only person in Michigan to develop a new complication: a 58-year-old woman developed acute necrotizing encephalitis — a central nervous system disorder marked by lesions all over the brain. Which ... ok then. While we're busy trying to get a handle on how to treat the existing complications, the virus is busy creating new ones. How will this ever end?

Listen, it's been a hard day, and it's hard to dredge up any hope right now. After he came home from work, Mike took me outside for some sunshine and fresh air out on the pasture trails, and that helped a little. But I'm just exhausted. I'm not sick — none of us are sick here — but I'm really feeling the stress and constant trauma of this whole situation. And knowing that we're still just at the beginning ... well, it's tough to swallow today.

Nationwide cases: 787,630. Deaths: 42,687.

news i can use

covid diary: day 38

Hi there! Welcome to April 17, day 38 of isolation. Today the universe has decided to add a nice pandemic snowstorm to the mix. Up is down, red is green, and winter never ends now, I guess. Cool cool.

Today is also our third elearning day of the week, which means I try to balance a busy (thank goodness) work day with shepherding my three charges through the education system. Liam generally updates me but handles everything on his own. Henry likes to work ahead, so he was already done with everything for the week before today started, so I just had to double-check his work. And Max ... well, Max likes to put things off and let them snowball until he gets snowed under. We've been working on getting organized and staying on top of things, which takes a little extra time, but I have to think it's worth it to him not to get far behind and have to deal with teacher phone calls and bad grades and unhappy parents.

Henry decided to use this very snowy morning to go out and make a snow person. His snow person was taller than him! Unfortunately, it was also a leaning snow person, and eventually it tipped right over and couldn't be rebuilt. Max made the mistake of asking Henry what he was going to name his snowman. Henry was instantly outraged. “Did you just assign gender to my snow person, Max? What if it doesn’t conform to your narrow binary ideas of gender?” That's my boy.

Today, like most days this week, around 2,000 people died in the United States. The New York Times is reporting that more than 7,000 people have died in nursing homes alone during this pandemic. It's hard to even wrap my head around that many people suddenly dying. And what's the response from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Well, silence on the deaths, of course, but Trump's been busy trying to incite a second civil war all day, tweeting absolute garbage like "LIBERATE MICHIGAN," "LIBERATE MINNESOTA," and the utterly nonsensical "LIBERATE VIRGINIA, and save your great 2nd Amendment. It is under siege!" Hmmm, what do those three states have in common? Oh, that's right: stay-at-home orders put in place by Democratic governors. Funny how he's not yelling at people to liberate Ohio, Indiana, or Maryland (just to pick a trio of states with stay-at-home orders issued by Republican governors).

Speaking of governors, the governors of Michigan, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Kentucky have formed a bipartisan coalition to work together to figure out when and how to safely reopen their states. What's notable to me is that there's a pretty even split here, making this a truly bipartisan group. Good job putting aside politics in favor of doing what's best for people, Midwestern governors! I look forward to hearing your plans. Related: Gov. Holcomb today announced that he is extending the "Hunker Down Hoosiers" order (that's what it's called? ok sure!) until May 1. Gov. Whitmer is likewise expected to extend the stay-at-home order (less catchy name: "Stay Home, Stay Safe") for Michigan.

Indiana, Michigan, and Illinois are still a couple of weeks away from their peaks. And even when we do reach the peak, it's important to keep in mind that it's a looooonnnng way back down the other side of this, and people will continue getting sick and dying in alarming numbers for quite some time. But maybe the most chilling thing is that increasingly we're seeing warnings of a new rounds of this once states open back up.

It's always been likely that there would be a second curve, a second peak ... and then maybe a third curve and a third peak. And on we cycle until eventually we get a vaccine or at least an effective treatment. The trick is, I guess, how we manage to get through all these peaks without getting sick. And there, I guess, the governors make good points: Hunker down. Stay home. Stay safe.

Nationwide cases: 707,950. Deaths: 32,861.

covid diary: day 37

Late last night, news broke (via the New York Times) that after receiving an anonymous tip about a body being stored in a shed on a nursing home property in New Jersey, police arrived on the scene. They didn't find a body in the shed, but they did find the bodies of 17 residents piled up in a tiny morgue on the premises that was designed to only store four bodies. Including those 17 people, this nursing home in New Jersey has had 68 recent deaths of residents and workers. Only 26 of those 68 were actually tested for COVID-19 and found positive; the cause of death for the remainder is "unknown" (gee, it really would take a genius to figure out how those others died).

News stories seem to focus mostly on the horror of finding 17 bodies piled up in a tiny space, and yes, that's truly shocking and terrible. But let's ask how it got that far. People all over the country, particularly officials in nursing homes and prisons — places where people are kept in very close quarters with no opportunity to physically distance themselves — have been crying out for help for weeks now. They can see that the disease is spreading like wildfire throughout their facilities, and they can't get the help they need because of overwhelmed systems at the local level and lack of concern at the federal level. This is happening all over the country (I just saw a report that a jail about 30 minutes from our house has 87 inmates confirmed to have COVID-19, and one has died), and the only real shock to me is that a discovery like this one hasn't happened sooner.

Meanwhile, in his daily briefing yesterday, the president threatened to use his emergency powers to adjourn Congress so he can do recess appointments. He says that keeping Congress officially in session with pro forma sessions is a "scam." OH HEY, maybe you remember when President Obama (god I miss having a real president!) made appointments using the argument that Congress actually was shut down despite the pro forma sessions, and the Supreme Court struck that down, saying that Congress is in session when Congress says it is in session? Good job paying attention to the one thing that might benefit you, Trump! Too bad the Constitution spells out that you can only adjourn Congress if the two houses disagree on a date of adjournment (they don't; the two houses have already agreed to end this session January 3, 2021). Nice try at dictatorship, though.

And in Michigan, Ohio, and Kentucky yesterday, protesters gathered together (in some cases *very* close together) to protest their governors' stay-at-home orders. Protesters in Michigan termed the whole day "Operation Gridlock" because they blocked traffic to the state capitol. Guess what else they blocked? That's right: access to a hospital, and the ability of emergency services to respond to people in crisis. Some protesters were waving Confederate flags (yes, in Michigan! racism has no boundaries). I saw a couple of interviews where reporters asked protesters why they were so opposed to the stay-at-home order. One man, on the verge of tears, cited his inability to buy paint for his house and fertilizer for his lawn. A woman angrily showed the reporter her gray roots and demanded access to her hair stylist. NO, I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP. These dummies risked their lives, the lives of everyone around them, and the lives of everyone they will come in contact with over the course of the next few weeks ... because they're so worried about home improvement and patriarchal beauty standards. And check out this picture from the Ohio Statehouse, where at least 100 zombies people gathered to protest the stay-at-home order by (Republican) Gov. Mike DeWine:

Photo credit: Joshua Bickel, Columbus Dispatch

Can you believe this shit? I'm having a real hard time.

Listen, I've been in my house for 37 days now, growing out my gray (my sisters insist that it's SILVER, thankyouverymuch) hair and not infecting anyone or getting infected. I get it. It's hard. Not so much the gray hair because I was already growing that out, so this is just helping me get through the middle awkwardness when half of it is gray and half is brown. And not so much the fertilizer because we don't put that crap on our grass. But sure, I could use some more paint. I need something to do with my nervous energy, and the downstairs bathroom, living room, and kitchen are still that same neutral light gray color I hate. More than that, I miss going to the pool because it made it possible for me to move through the rest of my day without pain, and I very much miss being pain-free. And even more than THAT, I miss seeing my parents and Mike's parents, our siblings, our nieces and nephews, and everyone else we care about. I am heartbroken that my first great-nephew will most likely be born within a week, and I won't get to see him, maybe even until he's a toddler. The next time their grandparents see them, my boys might be fully in their adult form (not Henry, probably, but likely Liam and Max). We are missing so much time, and time isn't something you can get back.

However. On the other side of this, there will be time. I'll eventually get to meet my great-nephew. I'll eventually get to hug all the people who matter most to me. The boys will eventually emerge from their chrysalises and shock us all with their handsome manliness. But we have to be alive and healthy to enjoy that. So we all have to stay home. And in the meantime, I'll do what I do best and use my words to remind the boys (someday, from far away, when they look back on this) that they are the most important people in my world, and that there is no end to the lengths I will go to in order to keep them safe. And I'll use my words to remind you, friends (today, in the middle of this), that you are important, that we miss you, and that we want nothing more than for you to stay safe until we can be together again.

Nationwide cases: 677,700. Deaths: 34,840 (note that this includes the probable cases reported in New York and other places).

covid diary: day 36

Allow me to introduce you to Trey Hollingsworth, representative for Indiana's 9th congressional district (the south central part of the state, stretching from just south of Indianapolis to just north of Louisville). He's the vice ranking member of the House Financial Services Committee Subcommittee on Investor Protection, Entrepreneurship, and Capital Markets (that's a mouthful!) and serves on the House Financial Services Subcommittee on Diversity and Inclusion. Rep. Hollingsworth is also the 12th wealthiest member of Congress, with a net worth of $50 million. And what does this leader have to say about the current crisis?

"It is always the American government's position to say, in the choice between the loss of our way of life as Americans and the loss of life, of American lives, we have to always choose the latter. ... The social scientists are telling us about the economic disaster that is going on. Our [Gross Domestic Product] is supposed to be down 20 percent alone this quarter. It is policymakers' decision to put on our big boy and big girl pants and say it is the lesser of these two evils. It is not zero evil, but it is the lesser of these two evils, and we intend to move forward that direction. That is our responsibility and to abdicate that is to insult the Americans that voted us into office."

Are you reading what I'm reading? He's saying that your life, my life, the lives of the 2,400 Americans who died yesterday — including 49 Hoosiers — the lives of tens of thousands of Americans are not worth the cost of the U.S. losing money. That tens of thousands of deaths is somehow less evil than losing money. And it's not like he's alone in those sentiments.

Speaking of money, remember those stimulus checks we're all supposed to get? Yeah, they've been delayed again. This time the delay is so that Trump can get his signature put on all the checks. What a brazen politicization of this situation. Listen, I got one of those checks G.W. Bush sent out in 2008, and it definitely didn't have his name on it. Maybe that's because it's a hideous abuse of government resources for political ends? Maybe because it's super-shitty to make people wait even longer (they were already saying it would take 20 weeks for paper checks) just so you can take credit for something the entire legislative branch had to authorize first?

Meanwhile, in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, 644 (!!!) employees of one meatpacking plant have tested positive for COVID-19. The governor of South Dakota refuses to shut down businesses in the state, instead saying she'll just do a massive trial of the malaria drug the president has been touting. Meatpacking plants in Iowa and Colorado have shut down because they also had a bunch of employees test positive. So I guess we have meat shortages to look forward to, because these companies put profits ahead of people until they were forced not to.

My sister Bethany called yesterday to tell me that she went to buy eggs, and discovered that the price had QUADRUPLED to $4/dozen. Meanwhile, farmers who supply restaurants are ... you guessed it ... breaking hundreds of thousands of eggs every day because they can't sell them, and nobody can figure out how to divert those eggs to grocery store customers.

It was another elearning day at home, so another absolutely exhausting workday for me. And it snowed. On April 15. The boys worked on their cursive and made cookies, and we even did a virtual appointment with Max's orthodontist. Now that was "fun." We had to take pictures of the inside of his mouth from various angles and submit them through the orthodontist's website, along with any concerns we had (like, for example, not letting him get overcorrected again when he should be almost done with his braces at this point). Then we sent all that info to the orthodontist, he looked at all the pictures, and within an hour, he had given us a report addressing our concerns and telling Max to keep up the good work of constantly wearing his rubber bands to anchor the braces in the correct position. Let's hope Max can get those braces off sometime soon!

Nationwide cases: 643,725. Deaths: 28,487.

covid diary: day 35

You know what "business" is specifically noted in the Constitution? In Article 1, section 8, clause 7, the Constitution bestows on Congress the power and the responsibility “to establish Post Offices and post Roads.”

The USPS is literally a lifeline to Americans, particularly rural Americans and vulnerable populations. It's not funded by through your taxes, either; it's funded by the provision of services. Which is to say that every time you send a letter or mail a package or order something online that ends up being delivered by USPS, you're funding the postal system.

In 2006, Republicans (yeah, it's always those guys, isn't it?) manufactured a crisis at USPS by passing a law requiring it to fully fund retirement for postal workers for 75 years into the future. SEVENTY-FIVE YEARS. Think about that for a second. Can you think of any other business, union, or public pension plan that's funded that far in advance? You can't, because there isn't one. Is Social Security funded 75 years in advance for retirees? It certainly is not (and that's by design too because the Republicans want to destroy the entire social safety net).

Why would the Republican Congress pass that 2006 law, you ask? It's pretty simple. You take an organization or program that's working really well and actually serving the people, and you follow three simple steps:
1. Place extreme requirements on that organization or program that would be considered unreasonable were they applied to any other organization or program.
2. Wait for the organization or program to falter under the weight of those unreasonable requirements.
3. Claim that the organization is badly managed and must be turned over to the private sector, which can definitely (they claim) run it better.
4. The newly privatized organization or program doesn't have the same unreasonable requirements, plus the new owners raise the prices, so it turns a hell of a profit (FOR THE PRIVATE OWNER) because it is now so "well managed."

Of course, the problem with this system is that anyone who depends on that organization or program loses out on a valuable service because they may not be able to afford it at the new rates. But to Republicans, that's a feature, not a bug.

Look around and you'll see this pattern repeated for all kinds of services that work to better the lives of everyday Americans, especially vulnerable populations. Social Security. Medicare. Medicaid. WIC. Food stamps/SNAP. You can even see it in the TRAP laws designed to prevent women from exercising their constitutional right to get an abortion (these laws put unreasonable requirements on everything from the width of the hallway at an abortion clinic to the requirement for doctors to have admitting privileges at local hospitals, which are then denied because most of the hospitals are owned by religious organizations). It's ugly, and it's insidious.

What does this have to do with COVID-19? I'm so glad you asked! USPS volume has dropped by 30 percent since the pandemic started, and the post office is in danger of shutting down entirely. The postmaster general says that at the current rate, USPS will be out of money by June. She has asked for funding to keep the post office running and to modernize its operations, and Congress negotiated that funding into the earlier rescue bills ... but guess who refused to sign any stimulus packages that included ANY funding for USPS? That's right, this incompetent, dangerous president.

He wants the post office to fail. And Republicans are with him. And this pandemic is giving them the perfect cover for making that happen.

And just like the governors are on their own in terms of sourcing PPE and ventilators, and deciding when to shut down or reopen their states, we're on our own to save the post office. And we *should* save the post office. It's truly the definition of an essential service.

So what can you do? Buy stamps. Send packages. Do anything you can to help support this organization. The post office is one of the nation's largest employers of veterans and people of color (our mail carrier is a veteran and a woman of color). It delivers mail cheaply and efficiently to isolated locations all across the country. In this era of social distancing, it's keeping us supplied with all the essential products we can order online to keep ourselves safer. And the least we can do is support it in return.

I bought a few books of stamps yesterday, including some dragon ones I've had my eye on for a while. I have plenty of stamps so I might not use them for a while, but that's ok. It's enough to know that by buying them, I'm helping to ensure that I will be able to use them in the future.

Nationwide cases: 615,302. Deaths: 26,114.