this guy

 Friends, this pandemic has sucked for us all, but I think maybe especially for Henry. He started at new school this year — his first new school since kindergarten! — virtually while most of his classmates were there in person. And once he did go back, he found it hard to adjust. He had a bad first grading period because come on, it's *hard* for a fifth-grader to have the executive skills he needs to make sure none of his work slips through the cracks. But he's been on a mission since then to do his very best, and as of yesterday, he was rocking all A's in his classes. And finally (finally!) he got to go to a friend's birthday party in person a couple weeks ago.

And he's got a smile that makes me so happy every time I see him. Here he is acting as the photographer for our little National Honor Society backyard photo shoot.

national honor society

Sunday afternoon was "Super Sunday" at PHS, meaning alllllll the awards get given in various locations throughout the school. And lucky us, this year we got to be part of it, because Liam was inducted into the National Honor Society.

We are so proud of him! Not just for this particular achievement, although this is a big one and he didn't quite make the cut last year for his first year of eligibility. The committee cited a lack of leadership qualifications as the reason he didn't make it last year, so this year, between some community service efforts and serving as manager of the girls tennis team, he more than made up for it. And the other qualities they look for he has in spades: scholarship, service, and character.

In scholarship, this young man is a star. He has taken five AP classes this year alone, and he's been pushing to take five more next year. He really gets into everything he studies, and he's really dedicated to getting it done right. I often think it's maybe a disservice to the younger boys, because Liam just ... takes care of everything he needs to ... and since he's the first, I sort of naturally assume that the others will follow suit. But no, it turns out that Liam is pretty much the exception to the rule, at least in this way.

In service, Liam is the first one to step up and volunteer for anything. He's in the community service club at school, but he also volunteers whenever there's a need, from setting up and running parking at the Blueberry Festival to spending a morning every spring cleaning up the cemetery. 

And character? Get out of here. Liam has been all character, all the time since the day he was born. Yes, I know, they don't mean that kind of character. But he's got both kinds! And I for one can't wait to see how he uses that character (both kinds) out in the world.

So here's to our firstborn, our trailblazer, our Liam. Even if he did stand there during the whole ceremony alternating between making horrible faces and pretending to be asleep standing up ... all so we couldn't get a good picture. Don't think I didn't notice, Liam!

   

we're still here

I know, I know. It's been months since I've blogged. I just ... haven't had any words. That's what depression does sometimes. At least it's what depression does to me. I haven't been writing, I've only recently started taking bird pictures and reading books again, and heaven only knows when I'll feel up to going for a hike.

It's not a thing I talk about a lot, but sure, I've been prone to sporadic bouts of depression for most of my adult life. If you asked me today, I might tell you that it's never been this bad or lasted this long before, but then again, that might not actually be true because I'm a human, and we tend to look at the past through a rosier lens than the present. And honestly, this particular present has had a lot of exacerbating factors. But things are starting to get better.

So what have I been doing? Whatever I can. Painting is a quiet and solitary thing, so I've painted the kitchen, the dining room, the back entry, and some doors. I like painting, but I also like not falling to my death, so I hired a nice, energetic, flexible young man who is just starting out in the painting business to take care of the two-story front entryway. It's a beautiful light blue now. He did a great job. I've been filling the house with color, both because I love it and because it's a way to remind myself that not everything exists in grayscale. 

Sometimes I build legos (I have so many botanical legos now!). Sometimes I walk the dogs. And sometimes it's all I can do to get through the workday and make sure everyone has what they need and gets where they need to go when they need to be there, and everything else can just wait because I'm tired and just want to take a nap.

I'm fully vaccinated now, and so is Mike. Liam will get his second shot tomorrow, and hopefully the CDC will approve the vaccine for adolescents later today so I can get Max scheduled first thing tomorrow. For now, they're only approving ages 12 and up, so Henry will still have a few months to go, but four out of five is great compared to where we were last year. 

Anyway, life goes on. We've had Christmas and New Year's and Easter and Mother's Day. We only have two weeks left in the school year. Liam is managing the girls tennis team, and Max is running on the track team. I just signed Liam and Henry up for city league summer tennis. We got the front of the house regraded, and expanded a garden bed that is currently a huge dirt patch for Mike to fill with all sorts of happy plants, if we ever reach last frost. We'll go on vacations again, and the world will rearrange itself into a new kind of normal, though I doubt we'll ever take our bare faces for granted again. 

And I'll write more words, I promise. It's been a long, bitter season. I'm ready for better times.