Wednesday, November 23, 2011

thanks: an incomplete list

I have mixed feelings about Thanksgiving as a holiday. On the one hand, I believe wholeheartedly in taking the time to be thankful for every part of the wonderful life I have. I try to take time every day to concentrate on that, to center myself during frantic days of working and parenting and doing all the things I have to do to make life work. On the other hand, I have real problems with the whitewashed Pilgrim/Indian narrative that's fed to the kids at school. I know it's way outside of the scope of this blog to delve into that history, so I'll just say that until they're old enough to get the full context of the story, I would rather them not learn about it at all. Sadly, it's too late for that, so all I can do is wait for them to be old enough to understand and then fill in the gaps for them. Having said that, there are really lots of things to be thankful for, big and small. Here's a sampling.

Family: I'm not particularly religious, but I think it is just neat (in the best possible, non-ironic sense of the word) that a series of happy coincidences leads people together, to make more people, who then are also coincidentally thrown together with others, and so on. We have this whole constellation of aunts, uncles, cousins, great aunts and uncles, second and third cousins, great-great aunts, even people who aren't related but are certainly "family." It's as incredible and magical to me as an actual constellation. And with my family in particular, that's how I picture it: not as a tree but as a constellation of heavenly bodies with the same gravitational pull. Amazing.

Grandparents: My boys have a full complement of grandparents, along with two great-grandparents. They are privileged to know these people, to be able to visit them often and interact with them and learn from them. They will have a full set of treasured memories to carry with them through life. One of the very best parts of my own childhood was going to my grandparents' house (which I did at least once a week or so), and I feel so fortunate that my children will get to grow up with that same opportunity. Lately, they've been all about spending time with my dad, who takes them to do manly jobs out in the woods or in his shop. He teaches them things, and they soak it all in and can't wait to tell me the latest thing they learned from Papaw.

Avalon: I couldn't do the work I do without Lon here to be with the boys, but she is more than their babysitter. They look forward to the nights when she is coming over because they know she will spend time with them, help them make cookies or play games, and get thoroughly involved in their lives. I am pretty sure that as they get older, Lon will be their confidant, the person they go to with things they can't/won't tell their parents, and if that's the case, I am thankful that they will be in such good hands.

Friends: Everybody is a freak in one way or another, and I am beyond lucky to have found a small but solid group of people who can understand and share my own particular brand of freakishness. They see me out there waving my freak flag, and their response could be to tell me to put it down, but more often it's to pick up their own flags and march along with me for a while until we look like our own mini UN of freaks. This is awesome.

Jobs: Especially right now, we are both glad to have good jobs. I am particularly glad, because my job happens to be something I love. We know that we are lucky to be able to provide for the boys, and we're aware of just how hard that is for people right now. We're also thankful for the brave people who stand up in protest at the gaping disparity between the haves and have-nots, at the lack of good jobs for people all around the country.

Modern Dentistry: I'm not kidding. I had a checkup this morning, and with my current dentist I am starting my fourth year of no cavities. This is a big deal for me; I have had a lot of dental work, and I can't tell you how happy I've been not to have had any for a while. I'm still hoping the boys got Mike's beautiful cavity-free teeth genes!

Time: I get that this one is a little nebulous, but I am grateful to have the time -- today, this year, my life -- to spend with the people I love and to remember my loved ones who have died. This kind of time isn't a given, and it's precious.

Boys: To paraphrase my friend Debbie, I thought I wanted a girl child somewhere in the mix, but it turns out that what I wanted -- what I needed -- was exactly the children I got. Liam, Max, and Henry make every day more fun and interesting than it otherwise would be, and I can't wait to see what's next for them.

And of course, I am thankful for Mike, but I'll spare you that mushiness. Suffice it to say that he is exactly the partner I need and want.

So happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I hope you have just as much to be thankful for.



Friday, November 18, 2011

and we got a visit from a leprechaun

My brother, J. And yes, he really is as tall as he looks. Possibly even taller. Certainly the tallest leprechaun you will ever lay eyes on.



Wednesday, November 16, 2011

halloween happened, too


This year, a series of unfortunate events led to us make the boys' costumes ourselves. It is definitely the first and probably the last time this will happen. They decided on a weather theme: Liam as a tornado ("That's Mister Twister, Mom!" shouts Liam in the background), Max as a lightning bolt, and Henry as a storm cloud. So I found basic directions, made a list of everything I would need, and checked with my mom to make sure that it wouldn't cost as much as it would to just buy them costumes at the store. "No way," she assured me. I'm assuming she left out the end of that sentence, which was "...because it will cost you WAY MORE than buying them costumes at the store, mwah hah hah!" Admittedly, this is because (unlike some people) I don't have a ready stock of cotton batting or black tulle to draw from, so I had to buy everything. And to add to the perfect storm (hah!) of costume making, my dad had this big secret plan to whisk my mom away on a surprise trip for their 25th anniversary (so wonderful!) so it turned out that Mike and I were on our own this year.



Anyway, we got out our stapler and our scissors and our spray paint, and each of us took a turn with needle and thread, and in the end I think we did a fairly respectable job. Well enough, anyway, that everybody they encountered on the street recognized what they were and complimented them. On that score, it didn't hurt that Tornado Liam insisted on twirling his way down the sidewalk to further the funnel cloud effect.







And for a special treat, this year was our Aunt Milene's first American Halloween! Since she and Greg live out in the country, we asked if she would like to come here to hand out candy since we get so many trick-or-treaters. She was very excited to see all the different costumes, and told us that it all looked just like a movie. It was really fun to watch her, and to get a sense of what this random ritual must look like to someone from outside the country. Milene says we don't have nearly enough holidays in the United States, definitely not as many as they have in Brazil, and we should get some more. If they're all as fun as Halloween, I could definitely be on board with that plan!





Tuesday, November 15, 2011

reflections on a vacation, way too long ago

Chilling on the Canadian side, looking at the falls
It's been two weeks since we got back from vacation, and now it's almost like we never left. Like we never loaded up kids and games and movies and snacks and all our luggage, dropped the dog off at the kennel, and hit the road for Niagara Falls. It was a surprising trip, in ways both good and bad. First, the good: The boys were incredibly well behaved on the trek. There was very little fighting, whining, or asking if we were there yet. I might even venture to say that the actual car ride was harder on us than it was on them. We drove through Canada, and caught sight of the falls for the first time crossing the Rainbow Bridge into New York. "Look, boys! We might be able to see the falls from here," I said. And a few seconds later, five jaws dropped wide open as we got our first glimpse. I mean, we knew the falls were big; they're not one of the wonders of the world for nothing, right? But we weren't prepared for just how big they are. They're overwhelming, even from a distance.

Day One, ready for action!
Mister of the Mist

Getting wet on a boat is hilarious!
Observation deck
But we weren't there to look at some water falling down from a distance. Nope, we were there to get right up in the spray. So the first afternoon, we took the Maid of the Mist boat trip, which goes close enough to the falls that everyone on board gets drenched in the spray. And the next day, we did the Cave of the Winds tour, which was a bitter disappointment to the boys in that there wasn't an actual cave to go in (it collapsed decades ago), but it was still exciting because we got to go down an elevator in a shaft carved out of solid stone, and then basically walk right up to the falls from underneath and see them in all their glory. Liam, Max, and I even braved the Hurricane Deck, where we got to feel tropical storm conditions. Of course, since it was the end of October, those were some pretty *cold* tropical storms.

We went during the last days of the year that they run the boat tours, right before they take down the scaffolding for the Cave of the Winds, and that turned out to be a very good thing because it wasn't crowded. Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of people around, but we didn't have to wait in long lines, and we didn't have to hurry because there were a million people behind us waiting to see the same thing and take the same pictures. But we can tell you that what they say is true: In terms of Niagara Falls, Canada is where it's at. When we crossed into Canada on our way there, the border guard asked us where we were going, then if we were staying in New York or Canada. We told her we had reservations in New York, and she immediately said, "You may want to reconsider that." We figured she was being a great ambassador for our neighbors to the north, but no, she was just telling us like it is. The New York side of the falls was shocking to us, because aside from the falls themselves and a few hotels, there was just nothing there. Plenty of urban decay and sketchy-looking neighborhoods, but restaurants? Not so much. Just finding a place to eat was a real challenge, and we ended up driving about 15 miles away to the nearest Target and just getting groceries to keep in our hotel room. I mean, really, New York? You have this absolutely amazing resource that millions upon millions of people come to see every year, and you don't want to make some money selling some pizza or something? Incredible.

There were rainbows everywhere
Little did we know...
...just how up close and personal we would get to the falls
Our last day there was Canada day. We crossed back over the border to check things out. And wouldn't you know it? The Canadians had managed to build up the whole area around the falls with family-friendly restaurants, stores, water parks, and gambling establishments—yet they still managed to keep the area closest to the falls/river peaceful. We did a little exploring and crossed the street after a visit to the Hershey store, and walked through a gate and into an absolutely quiet park, and right there in front of us was a sweeping view of the falls. So we went down and checked out that vantage point, then headed back up a short hill and treated the boys to lunch at the Rainforest Cafe. And yeah, we even topped it off with the Volcano! for dessert. 


Base of the falls


Hershey store
There's one other thing this vacation brought home to me, and I'm going to get slightly mushy here, so if you're so inclined, you can stop reading now and just look at the lovely pictures; really, I don't mind. Ever since I was a little girl, I've believed that my family is the best family in the entire world. (And sadly, I can think of very few people I know who could unreservedly say that about their own families.) And even by objective measures, by sheer size, my family just isn't like a lot of other families. As it turns out, it's an incredibly useful and happy thing for me to have aunts, uncles, and cousins spread out everywhere. On our way to the falls, we stopped over the first night in Detroit and took advantage of the hospitality of my Aunt Chris and Uncle Bob. They weren't even there, but my cousins Andy and Bill were happy to play host to a family of tired travelers. And on the way back, we drove through the United States. As we got close to Cleveland, I thought, hmm, maybe I should give my Aunt Dana a call. So I did, and it turns out that the nursery she and her husband bought earlier this year is right off the highway we were on. So we went there and got to be the first in the family to take a tour. It is an old-school plant nursery, peaceful and sprawling, and it was a perfect opportunity to stretch our legs and to see this great business that Dana and Brian are investing themselves in. And even though we were still hours from home, it was the perfect way to end our trip.





Niagara Aquarium
Apparently we weren't quite close enough to see it all