thanks: an incomplete list

I have mixed feelings about Thanksgiving as a holiday. On the one hand, I believe wholeheartedly in taking the time to be thankful for every part of the wonderful life I have. I try to take time every day to concentrate on that, to center myself during frantic days of working and parenting and doing all the things I have to do to make life work. On the other hand, I have real problems with the whitewashed Pilgrim/Indian narrative that's fed to the kids at school. I know it's way outside of the scope of this blog to delve into that history, so I'll just say that until they're old enough to get the full context of the story, I would rather them not learn about it at all. Sadly, it's too late for that, so all I can do is wait for them to be old enough to understand and then fill in the gaps for them. Having said that, there are really lots of things to be thankful for, big and small. Here's a sampling.

Family: I'm not particularly religious, but I think it is just neat (in the best possible, non-ironic sense of the word) that a series of happy coincidences leads people together, to make more people, who then are also coincidentally thrown together with others, and so on. We have this whole constellation of aunts, uncles, cousins, great aunts and uncles, second and third cousins, great-great aunts, even people who aren't related but are certainly "family." It's as incredible and magical to me as an actual constellation. And with my family in particular, that's how I picture it: not as a tree but as a constellation of heavenly bodies with the same gravitational pull. Amazing.

Grandparents: My boys have a full complement of grandparents, along with two great-grandparents. They are privileged to know these people, to be able to visit them often and interact with them and learn from them. They will have a full set of treasured memories to carry with them through life. One of the very best parts of my own childhood was going to my grandparents' house (which I did at least once a week or so), and I feel so fortunate that my children will get to grow up with that same opportunity. Lately, they've been all about spending time with my dad, who takes them to do manly jobs out in the woods or in his shop. He teaches them things, and they soak it all in and can't wait to tell me the latest thing they learned from Papaw.

Avalon: I couldn't do the work I do without Lon here to be with the boys, but she is more than their babysitter. They look forward to the nights when she is coming over because they know she will spend time with them, help them make cookies or play games, and get thoroughly involved in their lives. I am pretty sure that as they get older, Lon will be their confidant, the person they go to with things they can't/won't tell their parents, and if that's the case, I am thankful that they will be in such good hands.

Friends: Everybody is a freak in one way or another, and I am beyond lucky to have found a small but solid group of people who can understand and share my own particular brand of freakishness. They see me out there waving my freak flag, and their response could be to tell me to put it down, but more often it's to pick up their own flags and march along with me for a while until we look like our own mini UN of freaks. This is awesome.

Jobs: Especially right now, we are both glad to have good jobs. I am particularly glad, because my job happens to be something I love. We know that we are lucky to be able to provide for the boys, and we're aware of just how hard that is for people right now. We're also thankful for the brave people who stand up in protest at the gaping disparity between the haves and have-nots, at the lack of good jobs for people all around the country.

Modern Dentistry: I'm not kidding. I had a checkup this morning, and with my current dentist I am starting my fourth year of no cavities. This is a big deal for me; I have had a lot of dental work, and I can't tell you how happy I've been not to have had any for a while. I'm still hoping the boys got Mike's beautiful cavity-free teeth genes!

Time: I get that this one is a little nebulous, but I am grateful to have the time -- today, this year, my life -- to spend with the people I love and to remember my loved ones who have died. This kind of time isn't a given, and it's precious.

Boys: To paraphrase my friend Debbie, I thought I wanted a girl child somewhere in the mix, but it turns out that what I wanted -- what I needed -- was exactly the children I got. Liam, Max, and Henry make every day more fun and interesting than it otherwise would be, and I can't wait to see what's next for them.

And of course, I am thankful for Mike, but I'll spare you that mushiness. Suffice it to say that he is exactly the partner I need and want.

So happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I hope you have just as much to be thankful for.