This is Max. Max was in a great mood this morning, as you can see. He had a little stomach bug Thursday night, but seemed like he was rarin' to go, so we loaded up the bibs and sippy cups and headed for the Naperville Irish Party. The boys watched the Irish dancers with interest, and everything seemed to be going fine. We were about halfway through our $7 "corned beef" sandwiches when the unthinkable happened.
Yes, I'm sure you've already cleverly figured out that Max vomited. What you don't know is that he vomited. He vomited vast quantites of vanilla yogurt. All over himself. All over me. All over the chairs and carpets of the Holiday Inn banquet room. He spewed smelly vomit in a spectacular fountain right in front of a table filled with adorable young children dressed in green finery. Their exaggerated horror-movie faces and held noses would have been comical...if it weren't for the fact that a vomit river was flowing all around us. It was like a tragic alternate-universe version of the annual greening of the Chicago River, only this was a thick, white, chunky, odiferous river. It was like Linda Blair, only without the rotating head and satanic possession.
But not to worry. The janitorial staff was called, and speedily disinfected the banquet hall so the children could breathe freely again. Max got a fresh new outfit. And I had to take off my soaked shirt and go home wearing my jacket, reeking of puke and embarassment. All in all I have to report that it was not one of our better days. And of course, Max is perfectly fine now. He's eating his mac and cheese for dinner and making exaggerated "mwah!" sounds and smacking his lips when he wants kisses. Little bugger.
1 comment:
i'm thinking a nice family gift for Easter would be the installation of a ....VOMITORIUM! a special little room where babies could spew in comfort and privacy before being sucked into an automated cleaning system like a cat in a toilet-just add shampoo.
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