greek to me

I think I may have mentioned that Max has spent part of this year doing an independent study on Greek mythology. He and his buddies have been putting together a presentation for months now so they can share everything they've learned with the class. The presentation has sort of ballooned out of control at this point; there are more than 100 slides. No wonder their teacher hasn't been able to find time for them to actually DO the presentation yet!

Anyway, it's a really creative and funny project, and while I'm not going to give you the whole 100+ slides, here is a selection of ones that made me laugh. (I'll put the text below each one in case you have trouble focusing on colored text over colored backgrounds like I do.)

Things you should know:
All right, let's just get one thing straight. These stories are CRAZY and confusing, but some of them are very interesting. There are brothers marrying sisters, everyone is fighting 24/7, and last but not least (actually, it's probably least), there are people throwing their own children off of mountains.
You've been warned!
Another thing: There are over 90 SLIDES!

Gaia/Gaia (Mother Earth), continued
Ok, back to what I was saying. Gaia pushed plates of stone to make mountains, and she invited the stars (Uranus) and the underworld (Tartarus), and the sea (Pontus) to come join her. Pontus and Ouranos/Uranus however both loved Gaia. So they always fought. But Gaia didn't like her relatives always fighting so she put a stop to it. She married Uranus. See I told you there was brothers marrying sisters! Pontus was mad but soon got over it.

Tartarus (The Pit of Evil)
Tartarus is too evil to talk about. So goodbye.

Cronus/Saturn
FYI Cronus is probably the most evil thing on the face of Gaia (or the face of Tartarus) because he absolutely DESTROYED his father (Uranus) and ate his kids. Ok let's get this out of the way 3, 2, 1 GROSS!!! When Uranus stopped taking care of his kids Gaia got mad and asked the titans if they could K.O. their father. So Cronus did. Gaia gave him a scythe and he gave his father a dirt nap. After that he married titan Rhea and had 6 kids. They were Gods their names were Hestia, Demeter, Hera, Hades, Poseidon, and Zeus. I'll talk about them later.

Cronus/Saturn (continued) (#too much spotlight)
After that Zeus was raised on Crete with the nymphs and satyrs until his mother came and told him he should get a "summer job." Then he went to Cronus's temple as his cupbearer. He introduced the Olympians to drinks. Until one time when he put some disgusting herbs in Cronus's drink and he barfed. He barfed a godly barf. HURL HURL. That started the biggest war in the history of wars. If only Ares were here.

Aphrodite
Boring (for me at least), why do I waste my time writing about the beauty goddess? Answer: I DON'T KNOW. I guess I just have to. Well anyway Aphrodite can be the girl of your dreams. If she wants you to love her, you will. If she's angry at you she will make you fall in love with a toilet.
She trolls you when she's angry! She'll make you fall in love! (with a toilet)

Polyphemus
POLYPHEMUS IS A SATYR EATING FREAK.