covid diary: day 119

Sunbeams in the steamy morning pasture

Of all the things the pandemic has changed about our lives, this one hurts the most.

Early this morning, my mom and I were talking via text about school reopening. She had read a post online in which teachers were asking very reasonable questions about how it will work when they inevitably get exposed to COVID-19 on the job. They'll be required to quarantine for a couple weeks, which is leading them to ask very important questions: How do they get paid for those days off? Will they have to use their sick days? Will they be paid through workers' comp (which often requires that you exhaust your sick days first)? This would absolutely punish teachers for doing their jobs, because teachers save their sick days for things like maternity leave and retirement, and having to use any banked sick days would completely derail their plans for either. And if a teacher gets sick and has to quarantine, who will fill in? Subs are hard to find during a normal year; who the hell is going to want to sub during a pandemic? Who will think that $80 a day (if that) is worth risking their lives?

But I digress.

Anyway, I was sitting in the window seat in the bathroom, looking out over the foggy front yard, and it occurred to me: Once school starts, we won't be able to see my parents anymore. Or Mike's parents. Or anyone, really. 

I texted this awful thought to my mom, and she agreed. The level of exposure is just too high. She's already making plans to see Henry in August before school starts to celebrate his birthday, because once he's back in school, she won't be able to.

I hate this more than I can tell you. It's no secret that I believe with every fiber of my being that I've learned more from being with my grandparents than I could ever learn in school. Sitting quietly in their kitchen late at night, watching as Gramps ate a bowl of ice cream and told Gram about a long day at the store, and Gram told Gramps about her workday — that's how I learned what a true partnership is. Every time Gram told me I could be who I wanted to be, have any job I decided to pursue wholeheartedly — that's how I learned to believe in myself. Every time I asked either of them for advice, and they responded not with answers but with questions that led me to figure out the answer on my own — that's how I learned to trust my own judgment. From watching them, I learned what a healthy relationship looks like, how to care for other people without trying to control them, how to accept people as they are, how to work hard, and how to relax together.

So the idea that my kids will lose out on even a minute they could have spent learning from their grandparents just guts me. And for what? Why are we (as a nation) doing this? To prove that things are back to normal? They're not. They won't be for a very long time.

And I reject the argument we have to just learn to live with it. We don't. We don't have to accept tens of thousands of new cases every day, and hundreds or thousands of deaths every day. We don't have to accept that. We could figure out a way to have school without forcing our teachers, aides, school staff, and our KIDS to risk their lives every single day. Like, just off the top of my head, we could invest in video equipment and have the teachers go to school every day but stream the classes in real time, so kids have to follow a set schedule but they get to see their teachers give actual lessons during the appropriate class times. Yeah, I know, what about the kids who don't have internet access? Well, in our school, every kid has a device, so we could use our buses to send some kids to the reading rooms at the library. We could set aside a few rooms at the county building. We could send a few to the classroom to ensure they could be apart from each other. It would take a lot of work and a lot of imagination, but there are ways we could keep everyone safer.

But we won't, because our leaders are actively choosing to decimate the population rather than using this as an opportunity to create a better, safer society.

All across Europe, they're constructing and dedicating more bike lanes in cities. You know why? Because public transit isn't safe, and they're imagining a way to put people at less risk while also making changes that are sustainable for the planet. But heaven forfend that Americans change a single aspect of the way we've always done things. That's tyranny, or something.

******

Welp, I didn't have to get very far into my day before the shit hit the fan. I'm writing this at 11:27 a.m., having just read in Politico that Trump and Betsy DeVos are threatening to withhold federal school funding (which, let's be clear, is allocated by Congress, NOT by the president) for schools that don't fully physically open in the fall. DeVos: “Schools have got to open up, there has got to be concerted effort to address the needs of all kids and adults who are fear mongering and making excuses simply have got to stop doing it and turn their attention on what is right for students and for their families.”

Fear mongering? Making excuses?

Try not wanting to die, BETSY.

Honestly, there is no low to which this administration won't sink. There is no bottom. They will force schools to reopen so they can pretend everything is fine. But at what cost? At what cost?

And P.S. this is rich coming from Betsy DeVos, the absolute queen of offering parents choices to do what's right for their students and families when it comes to sending kids to charter schools and destroying public schools in the process. But when it comes to keeping students and families safe? OH NO, then we're fear mongering. She is despicable.

If there is any justice in this world, by this time next year, I hope everyone in this administration loses all their money, since that's the thing they care most about. I hope they get a taste of what it means to be poor and have all their choices taken away from them. What it means to have someone put the economy above their health. All of it. I hope they have to face all of it.

Nationwide cases: 3,035,337. Deaths: 132,042.