collagen disaster

This morning, three things happened simultaneously: I tried to end a call with a customer service person (apparently my legos were sent from Poland and are stuck at customs); an Amazon delivery person rang the doorbell, causing the dogs to completely lose any pretense of chill they might have had; and the power went out because we’re in the middle of a very high wind event. So I set the Amazon box on the stairs behind me and went to get my laptop to see if the boys could help me set up a wifi hotspot so I wouldn’t have to miss any part of my work shift. Eventually, I called Laura, and she had power, so we ended up rushing over to her house.

I came home about an hour ago because power was restored. The trash and recycling bins were open and laying askew in the flowerbed, so I hauled them into the garage. But the real fun started when I came inside.

This is what came in my Amazon package.
Sixteen ounces of collagen powder.

Library, first sign of a problem.
Thunder plays innocent.

Office. Oh shit. Dogs hiding somewhere.

Living room. Piles of collagen all over the floor.
A mighty battle was fought here.

Pluto: I'm sorry, Holli. I know we did a bad thing and now
you're stressed and have to clean this all up.
Thunder: CHEESE!

For the record, when collagen gets wet (say, from dog slobber), it makes a nice thick paste that works its way into carpet fibers. Impossible to just vacuum up. So even after cleaning, we have these gross stiff areas in the carpet, and I never want to walk barefoot in my house again. The end.